A Darling Life

Another Birthday in the Darling Home!

2011-04-14T07:31:00.000-04:00

Today marks another birthday in our home. Elijah turns 12 today!

Every birthday to me is important. The twelfth birthday seems to mark a turning point though. When Hannah turned 12, it seemed like all the sudden she began to show signs of "growing up". She began to mature in all sorts of ways, and it happened all the sudden and pretty quickly. The same thing seems to be happening to my Eli. The past week and a half his voice has began to deepen. He is sounding like a ....man! Over the course of six months or so, he has began to shoot up in height. He is very quickly approaching me, almost can look me straight in the eyes! Eli has also become a very, strong young man. He can lift about anything I ask him to and is a super big help to me when Justin is away at work. It is so wonderful to have another man in our home. He helps me in the garden with running the tiller, loves to mow the yard and loves to use power tools! Eli is growing up!

I remember when this young man was a wee little one. He was a rambunctious, full of energy, strong-willed, little guy. He loved his trucks. He loved his G I Joes. He loved to play in the dirt (and eat it!). He loved the outdoors. Still, he loves those things, just in a different kind of way. He enjoys (maybe coveting a little?) cool, 4-wheeled drive, duel wheeled trucks, loves to watch war movies and likes to drive tractors and help on the farm. He really enjoys camping, especially with the guys. My little, sweet, baby faced boy is turning into a man.

Eli impresses me with his knowledge of stuff. He takes after his daddy here....Eli seems to know little facts about different kinds of things. He loves to look at fact books and seems to absorb the little tidbits of information. One book he seems to be absorbing from is the Bible. Eli seems to be soaking in the most important knowledge we have (and need!). For his, what I call "Casual Reading", subject in school, Eli has chosen the Bible. He spends 30 min of his school time absorbing God's Word. I am thankfull that God is laying on his heart the need to read His Word.

Eli and Abeba...Abeba knows who to go to if she is wanting to rough around!

Abeba loves Eli's horsey rides!

Eli getting his "army" ready for battle!

I do miss seeing Eli playing around like a 6 year old boy. I miss his sweet little hugs and little boy kisses, but it is so sweet to see God maturing our little boy into a wonderful, young man. It is such a blessing to see God working and maturing Eli into the man He has designed him to be.

Happy Birthday, Elij....we love you!!

Israel is soon to be 7!!

2011-03-26T16:28:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow marks the day that Israel has been counting down for a whole month now. Tomorrow our little boy will turn 7...just can't believe that 7 years have passed since I held this little fellow in my arms. Israel has really been into his birthday this year, or at least into counting down for it. I believe this is the first year that he actually understands days and weeks and how time really goes. He has been making a lot of trips to the calender the past few weeks to count the days until the 27th.

Israel is such Mommy's little helper. He has always enjoyed hanging out with me in the kitchen, flower beds and in the garden. He enjoys nature and always takes time to "stop and smell the roses". Literally. He knows how beautiful God's creation is and isn't afraid to tell you about it.

Lately, he has been into space. He thinks he might want to be an astronaut. Justin and often think this young lad will someday find himself in the pilot seat of an air craft of some sort. He can be found on a windy day with his bat man cape (courtesy of my Aunt Janet) swinging just as high as he can, pretending that he can fly. When he was younger, he would even ask when God would give him wings. This past week, Israel saw that Lunesta commercial (some sleep drug) that show people getting fairy wings when they sleep and asked if he could take that medicine so he could get some wings. Good grief....thank you so much pharmaceuticals!!

Israel loves the elderly. He loves spending time with them and prays everyday for a dear elderly friend in Colorado whom he has not seen in a few years. I pray that God will use this special gift for His glory someday. It is a pretty special thing to see a little 7 year old enjoy the company of his elders.

Anyway...Happy Birthday to our little Israel...I love you little Buddy!

Israel on his first birthday

Israel about a year old

Israel with his special bat man costume

What a goof! Having fun on their new tire swing

Special Days

2011-02-15T07:26:00.000-05:00

The past few days at the Darling home have been super special. This week in February is always a busy one b/c Valentines Day and Justin's birthday all fall within a day of each other. I usually try to make the days each special and set apart, but frankly, the plan usually bombs! Typically, surprises get thwarted by sick kids, bad weather or surprise job occurrences. This year, the Lord was especially merciful and the plans went on w/o a hitch!

Friday, I surprised Justin with a night alone...our first in the two years since Abeba has been home. Wow, were we ready! My mom and step Dad were super kind in taking three of the kids (Hannah had plans to go to a sleep over at a friend's house) on kind of short notice. By the time Justin got home from work, the house was quiet and I was awaiting his arrival with flowers, dinner and such.

We had such a wonderful time together. It was so nice to have an uninterrupted dinner, no noise and no interruptions through the movie. There were no worries about who was getting along (or not!), what time it was (so everyone was in bed at the proper time) or whether or not the movie was too loud. It was great.

Sunday was a special day of worship with our church family and learning about our Lord. Sundays are always special days to our family.

Valentine's day brought back a new tradition started by our wonderful kids, the Darling Diner. The kids had a four course meal planned a couple weeks ago, and they had me get the groceries to fill their list. Then, they cooked it ALL! Did I mention how wonderful they are?

We had a special cheese fondue for an appetizer, a yummy salad, meat balls w/ baked sweet potato and this delectable, blackberry cheesecake for dessert. They even made this strawberry lime drink to go along with it all! They served us both at a table set for us only and then the older ones had the younger ones eat in a separate room. We enjoyed a quiet (except for a couple minor distractions...when you have a 3 yr old, that is expected!) dinner together. Have I mentioned what great kids we have?

This was a great end to Valentines Day! Honestly, I needed this b/c the two littles were just a wee difficult all day!

Tonight, we will celebrate Justin's birthday with a special dinner and with vinegar pie (his favorite..I know it sounds gross but it is not that terrible). I am so thankful for my man. He leads our home in such a Godly way and with so much wisdom. He loves us all and seeks to spend time with us. He loves his Lord and shares that love with so many people. I admire him; he is my precious gift. The Lord has blessed our family through Justin. He has blessed so many others through Justin's life.

I am so thankful for the husband God has given me. He has given me someone special to spend my life with, to share in the joy of children with and to be alongside of through good times and hard times. I am thankful that God chose me to be his help meet and to be his life long partner.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart! I am grateful for your life, your love and your commitment to me, to our children and to our Lord.

Two Years Home

2011-01-24T14:50:00.000-05:00

My days go by so quickly. There is always something going on. With a large family, there is always something to do. My intention is to keep you all updated through this little blog, but honestly, it doesn't make it on my to do list very often. Every other day or so I keep thinking, " I will get to the blog, update you all, let you know what is going on in our lives, how Abeba is doing and update you with some pictures." Unfortunately, blogging time takes the back burner and is put on a very low simmer! I have wanted to post about Abeba's two year Gottcha Day, which was back on the 12th of Jan. But, here it is the 24th and I am just now getting around to it. As I like to say, better late than never, so here is an update!

We really can't believe that Abeba has been home for two years. Our time with all of our children seems to go faster with each year and she is no different. We celebrated her Gotcha Day with Ethiopian dishes (I am beginning to get the knack on how to do it!) and chocolate cake (definantely not Ethiopian, but Abeba's request!). We ended the evening with home videos of our home coming at the airport and little snipets of her first year home. It was fun. We all had some good laughs and shed a couple of tears.

A little update on our little miss. Abeba is doing really well. Our bonding has happened, all the attachment has taken place...all those things that the social workers get you all worked up about. Abeba is a spicey gal, full of spunk and energy. She is everything that any typical 3 year old should be. She loves to laugh, pick on her brother (and vice versa!), likes to eat junky stuff, and really loves to be the center of attention. Justin and I have certainly been challenged as parents with this little gal. We have seen how God has prepared us for these challenges with the little quirks that each of our other kiddos have. Certainly, the challenge we face most with Abeba right now is her rebellion and disobedience (told ya..typical 3 year old stuff!).

Justin and I talk often about how adopting Abeba has made the picture of our heavenly adoption so much more clear. (These conversations surface most after a long day of repeated offenses!) How often as sons of the Most High do we rebel? How many times does our Lord have to tell us to stop repeating a certain sin? How many times does our Lord have to discipline us? Honestly, it happens often for me..

But...thankfully....

Our Lord is long-suffering. He is merciful. He is gracious. He is gentle. He is kind. Always.

The picture of our Lord being all these things to us has made this process easier. We are constantly reminded of these attributes of God, through the life of our daughter. I am thankful for that, for it reminds me to show her all these Godly characteristics......even when my sinful self doesn't want to!

The past two years have not been easy. They have been the hardest Justin and I have gone through together. But, we would both do it again in a heart beat.

We both believe that our Lord does not want us comfortable. He calls us to do hard things. He calls us to serve. He calls us to persevere. Earthly adoption is NOT easy. It is NOT always comfortable. It is NOT always easy to serve a toddler who pushes you away, BUT we are told to do it wholeheartedly, as if we were serving the Lord (Eph 6:7)

The past two years may have been tough at times, but they have been a joy. It has been a joy to see a small little girl grow to love her new family. It has been a joy to see her be a sponge in her new culture. She has learned so much, oh so much. It has been an even greater joy to hear her say her prayers and to have an opportunity to learn of a loving God that has her life in his hands.

We wouldn't trade this for anything. Our children are a heritage..... each one of them....a heritage from the Lord. A reward from Him. (Psalm 127)

We thank God for our children, each one of them. We thank God for all the things that each one of them has taught us and the blessing that they have been and will be to our lives.

Happy 14th Birthday, Hannah!

2011-01-04T07:39:00.000-05:00

Today marks our daughter's 14th Birthday! Justin and I are just amazed that it has been 14 years since we held our baby daughter in our arms. Time goes by so quickly.

We are thankful to our Lord in how He has worked in this young woman's life already. She has such a heart of obedience. It is so refreshing to see a young lady want to please her Lord.

Tonight we will celebrate with some families from church. We will eat her favorite meal, corn chip taco and we will have homemade ice cream cake. We will play games together and will no doubt have a grand and glorious time!

We thank God for your life, my sweet daughter. We look forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for you!

Happy 14th Birthday!

A Mighty Man

2010-12-15T07:44:00.000-05:00

The past month Justin and I have realized a change in our oldest son, Elijah. Eli has been given the opportunity (through some divine intervention!) to help out some other men out with their chores. Eli has been helping a local farmer on his cattle farm and helping a couple men from our church with some physical labor chores like carrying brush and busting concrete. We have noticed such a change in Eli's work ethic as well as his personality. He is more willing to help out around the house both inside and out. He does it without complaining for the most part. It has been such a joy to see this change. He seems to be getting the "value of hard work".

Lately, I have been noticing another sweet change. One that he is modeling after his father. That is taking care of mom. It has been so precious. Yesterday, I came in from outside from taking care of the animals and he met me at the door and said, "You shouldn't be out there, it is too cold, you should have let me do it!" Ahhh...amazing words. Yesterday again, we were shopping at our TSC (one of my favorite stores!) getting about 250 pounds of animal food. The food comes in 50# bags and he was insistent that he load them on the cart and into the van. "You shouldn't lift that stuff mom!" is what he said. These kind of things have been happening more and more.

Some women might take offense to those statements. That we should be as strong as men; being able to do what they do, but I see them as a quality given from the Lord. I believe that is what God wants out of His men...to take care of the girls, to protect them and to cover them with their love. A picture of what God does for his children. I realized a few years ago what a challenge and responsibility God has given us as Godly mothers. He has given us the responsibility to raise Godly men. I believe that this does not start when they are 16...it begins when they are small. We need to be moulding our boys to the image of God. We can't do it all, God does the biggest part, but we have a responsibility to do our part. We need to be on our knees praying for them and teaching them every opportunity we get.

It is such a blessing to see God moulding this young man's heart. I don't know what God has planned for him, but I do know that it will be for His glory.

Moms, we need to be doing our part in raising "Mighty Men for God". We need to be praying that God will use them in great ways, that he will mold their hearts and minds to be Godly husbands and Godly fathers so that they might pass that on to the next generation. What a legacy that our Lord can create!

Thanksgiving Thoughts..

2010-11-23T15:08:00.001-05:00

My heart has been pondering Thanksgiving the past week and how thankful I am for so many different things. God continues to send me so many undeserved blessings. He has been so gracious to me, my family and to others as well. Have you ever set down and pondered His sovereignty and how He has caused all things in your life to come together for His purposes?

Our church service Sunday evening was centered around being thankful for the many aspects of God's character. God's purposes, his omnipotence and his sovereignty are a few that I found myself thinking about. I am grateful to the One who made me, for all the things that He has caused to happen in my life. I am even grateful for the things that I thought, at the time, were terrible and life crashing.

I am thankful to God for my parents for without them I would not have been given life. God used them to bring this life to this world. I am grateful for that. They raised me in the church. A church that had special people in it that God would use to teach me about Him. My mom and Dad taught me the value of hard work, perseverance and to pay attention to God's creation.

I am thankful for my siblings. We have experienced a lot together and have great memories together. We have gone through some of the most difficult times together yet through it all God caused our bond to grow stronger. I am thankful that God has used them in my life to teach me about His long suffering, loving kindness and patience. I am thankful for their friendship. A bond between sisters is a pretty special one! I also thank God for my brother who I pray will see salvation someday.

I am thankful for hard times. When I think of the different hard times I have experienced, I often think back to my parents divorce. I was in my late teens, early twenties when this occurred, but that did not make it any easier. In retrospect, I see how God used this time in my life to draw me closer to Him and to teach me. I believe in Romans 8:28 and how God causes all things to happen, ALL things....for my good. This case is no different. God has used this divorce to bring a special man into my life, my step dad. I am thankful for him and his love for his grandchildren and step kids. God has used this divorce to help a friend who came along later in, my life to think right, to be able to listen to her and help her understand what she is going through. I see God's purposes through adversity. I may not ever see them all, but knowing this gives me great peace and joy.

I am thankful for my in-laws..for from them came one of my greatest blessings from God, my husband. He is one of the most Godly men I know. He is a magnificent example of a Godly father. He is kind, patient, longsuffering and loving. He treats me and the children so wonderfully. He is so wise. He shows so much courage in the face of hard things. He has done many things and had many encounters that I would have probably turned and ran the other way in fear or just not done because of fear. I admire him. He is my hero, my love.

I am thankful for my children. I am thankful that they have good health. I love that God gave Justin and I four beautiful children to cherish. They are truely a gift from God to us. I love that they are obedient, smart and talented. I love even more that they know who God is and what He has done for them. I am thankful that God brought one of our children to us from Ethiopia. I love what that has done for all of us. It has caused us to be more dependent on Him and has taught us to be more thankful, less focused on "stuff" and on what is comfortable to do. I love that God has shown us to do hard things through the life of this little Ethiopian.

I am thankful to my friends, ones both far and near. I am thankful for the encouragement they are to me and for the laughs and tears we have shared together. I am grateful for our church and the family contained there. They are special people in our lives and have been true demonstrators of Christ's love to our family. I am thankful for our pastor Bill. God has given him so much wisdom and I am super thankful that he teaches and shares it with his flock each week. God has used him and his family to bring our family closer to Him and for that I grateful.

I could go on...I just love thinking about how God ordains everything. How he has planned everything for our good. There are times I just can't wrap my mind around it all and that is okay..I don't need to know really. I just know that God has been good to me, given me more grace and mercy than I will ever deserve. He has given us His Word that contains truth. He has given us a Savior and has given me eternal life through His work on the cross. For that I will eternally be thankful.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

NOTICE- FEE INCREASE!

2010-11-22T07:12:00.000-05:00

Justin and I just found out that the U.S. Government is increasing the application fee for the N-600 on the 23rd of November!! Yes, we are slackers and have not got this done yet. We kicked it into gear this weekend and got the application done for Abeba.

The fee is going from $420 to $600....so if you haven't got this done yet, you have until the 23rd to get it postmarked and in the mail.

Just wanted to let you know....

Hair Care Site

2010-11-17T12:38:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been doing a crash course on black hair care. Abeba's hair is finally getting some length to it. She had such a time with ringworm on the scalp, the Dr. said that it would take some time for it to grow. Her hair is these tiny little curls that curl up on each other. It has quite a bit of length to it but not quite enough for corn rows or intense braiding. She is usually in pony tails (aka "poof balls") to avoid that inevitable knotting!

I have been using Blended Beauty hair products for almost a year now. I love it! I love that it is all natural and contains no petroleum products. It smells so good that you almost see yourself tasting it!

I have started buying these products from the Blended Beauty site. I had been buying it through another dealer, Sistasplace, but unfortunately, they took our money and sent nothing in return...grrrr....

Anyway, Blended beauty has a great place on their site for hair care for the different types of curls. It is fabulous! Lots of detail. They are even on Facebook where you can ask them personal questions! Make sure to friend them if you have a sweet little "chocolate" colored baby. Super great advice! Here is the link to their hair care tips: http://www.blendedbeauty.com/Biracial_Curly_Hair_Tips.html I know that the Blended beauty stuff is pretty expensive, but it lasts a long time. A little bit goes a long way.

Hope that this helps someone. It has certainly been a help to this mama!

No Greater Joy!

2010-11-15T07:56:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a glorious day for Justin and I. Hannah decided a month or so ago that she wanted to obey her Lord by being baptized. Of course we were thrilled to hear that! Our gracious Lord saved her a couple of years ago and since then we have seen her grow in her walk with God. God's grace and mercy have been very evident in her life.

Justin and I pray daily for our children and for their salvation. We are thankful to God that He has chosen Hannah. This is our prayer for the rest of our children.

We were super thankful that God arranged for so many special people to be there to witness Hannah's baptism. Justin's parents, my mom and a large part of our church family were there to share in this joy.

Please pray for Hannah as she continues her walk with Christ. Pray that she will be a shining light for Him and that she will grow in the loving grace and wisdom of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Let us all join together in praying for our children. That they experience the joy of salvation that only comes from our Lord....it should be what we want for our children more than anything this world could ever offer them.

Our hope for parents found in Proverbs 23: 15-19..."My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. Listen , my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path."

"I have no greater joy that to hear that my children are walking in the truth" 3 John verse 4

New Fall Pictures

2010-11-08T19:53:00.001-05:00

I am going to try to sneak in a few extra moments for a quick blog update. Time seems to go by so quickly. There is always something to do and blogging never seems to make it on my to do list.

Anyway, I was able to get in some fall school pictures last week. Thought I would share them with you all. I thought that they turned out pretty good. It is pretty easy when you got pretty cute kids to photograph!! You will notice a little something different about Abeba....last month we went camping and she knocked out one of her front teeth! Her two front teeth have been dead about a year from an accident that sent her and Israel soaring to meet the concrete of our porch :( Unfortunately, we found out this spring that her two teeth were indeed dead and that there was a chance they could be taken out prematurely. She took care of that by getting a bit too close to the steps of the playground equipment. She has enjoyed looking like Israel (who has now lost 2 teeth, on time). Hopefully, she won't lose that second one until it is the proper time!

Can you believe it has been 2 years???

2010-10-06T13:47:00.000-04:00

Today marks 2 years since we got our referral call. Amazing. Time just simply goes faster with each year. I think that possibly we notice this as we get older :)

Justin and I just marvel and stand amazed at the changes that we have seen in Abeba. She has been home for nearly 20 months now and has changed so much. Most of the major issues she had when she came home have either completely subsided or are barely noticeable. She talks non- stop...seriously! She even talks (and argues!) in her sleep. Pretty funny! After measuring her a few months ago, we realized that she has grown 7 inches since she came home. She went from 18 mos size clothing to wearing 4-5T....that is incredible!

Abeba's smile is still the same as those first pictures, but she seems to have much more glimmer in her eyes. What a difference a family, some direction and lots of love can do for a little girl! Praise God for chosing her to be in this Darling family! I thank Him often for all that He has taught me through the life of this little gal.

Check out some of her outward changes.....

Referral Picture

Received this picture a month before we left.

Came with our referral package...

One of my favorite referral pictures....

Too sweet not to capture! Wonder what she is dreaming??

Hannah took this one...love it!

Can you tell who has been watching Cinderella? She told me she was getting married! Not yet my dear!

Hannah attempting those impossible curls!

Powdered Sugar and Ethiopian skin...what a riot!

3 years old!

Pride

2010-09-27T07:37:00.000-04:00

I have started a new adventure this fall.... teaching our church's high school girls. I have only taught two weeks now, but I have enjoyed it so much already. These girls are a special group of girls. I am so thankful that God has give me the opportunity to teach these girls. What a great way to "teach the younger women" as Titus commands us in chapter 2. Pretty awesome and pretty humbling. I am finding myself learning right along with them! In fact, in some cases they are teaching me!

I am using a book called "Purely Woman" by Lauren Wilson Black, Khrystian Wilson Lewis and Jordyn Wilson. An excellent book for a bible study with your younger women (I refuse to call them teenagers!) in your life.

Anyway, going through this weeks lesson I came across this great poem. This weeks lesson is on Humility. To have humility in Christ we must first lose our pride. I am certain that we have all struggled with pride. I believe that it can be a destroyer of so many things in our lives if we let it. I came across this poem in "Purely Woman" about pride. They quote it from Beth Moore's book "Praying God's Word".

"My name is Pride, I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny....because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing....because you're too full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out the window.
I cheat you genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love....because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.
Untrue.
I am looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry....if you stick with me.....
You'll never know."

Very humbling.

Thought it was too good not to share.

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

Catchin' Bubberflies....

2010-09-15T18:13:00.000-04:00

Abeba and Israel have spent the past two afternoon catching what Abeba calls "Bubberflies". The butterflies this year have just been beautiful and plentiful and fall coming on has not changed that. The beautiful little creatures love my Sedum flowers. There are hundreds of of little butterflies, I think. The two littles are so entertained by each other. Sometimes that is good, sometimes that is bad, but that is a whole different post! Anyway, they just love the challenge of catching the butterflies. Israel is quite the pro at it, and Abeba is pretty cautious still. She talks herself into it, but then starts to touch them and backs off a little. Quite amusing :)

Butterflies are Israel's favorite. In fact, he is in the process of watching his sixth Monarch hatch from its chrysalis. He has found the little caterpillars, fed them their milk weed and then has released them after enjoying their beauty for a day. On the first day of school we were able to watch the caterpillar make its chrysalis. Now if that is not a science lesson, I don't know what is! Perfect timing! I love homeschooling.

Here are some pictures of my little entomologists:

Smiling about it, just because Mommy said, "Smile!"

Israel was able to catch 3 of them all at once...impressive! I think the batman cape just might help him accomplish this, don't you think?

Can you see the little bit of fear in her eyes??? She is just not confident yet :)

Summer's End

2010-09-06T14:52:00.000-04:00

Firstly, let me say a special Thank you to my sweet husband for the sweet words in the last post. The birthday words were such a blessing to me. I keep waiting for the "birthday treatment" to end, but Justin just keeps them comin'....I believe that he just might spoil me :) I love him....more than words can say. God has given me one special treasure! He gave me a bouquet of flowers and the book by MaryBeth Chapman "Choosing to SEE" for my birthday. I am pretty excited about both. The book is one of those you don't want to put down. I will let you know when I finish!

Now, it is Labor Day and I can't believe that Summer is over...well according to the marketing industry :) Summer has been pretty full. After the fair and play, food preservation kicked into high gear. I have not done a full count of how many jars and how many freezer bags were filled during the months of July and August, but believe me it was a lot! God has been so gracious in filling our cupboard and freezer for the winter. I wish my batteries were not dead on the camera.....I would show you a picture of the jars full of color. There are peaches and pie filling, cherries and brussel sprouts, salsa and soups, blueberries and pizza sauce, jellies and jams, beans and blackberries, applesauce and pickles, juices of red and purple, plums and ground zucchini. It was exhausting at times and the kitchen was a steamy, sticky mess most of the time, but it will all taste super good this summer. I am so grateful that my mom taught me how to do all this when I was a younger gal. This year the torch has begun the process of being passed on. I got Hannah in the kitchen this summer making jam and jelly. I am pretty impressed with her skills!

I am sorry that my posts this summer have been few and far between, but fresh produce doesn't wait and this gal was pretty pooped out most days. We are all catching our breath now, and I am beginning to find the house again :) Thanks for your patience in waiting for a new post. Maybe, things will be slower for now.

Happy Birthday Lovely Wife!!

2010-09-03T07:03:00.000-04:00

Today is this wonderful woman's birthday! I love this woman...she is a proverbs 31 woman. Our Awesome God, in eternity past, knew exactly the kind of wife that I needed to be my help meet. He knew exactly the kind of mommy that our four Darling children would need to be their teacher, helper and godly example.

He knew exactly the kind of lovely, beautiful, hard working, gracious, dignified, trustworthy, precious, kind,generous, wise, charming, God fearing woman the world needed. He knew all the times and places to put her so that she would effect others in amazing ways and be an encourager and example to so many.
What more can I say of this woman that I love....I don't have enough words to express it.

Wish her a happy birthday today!!

"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all" (Proverbs 31:29)

A week in Review

2010-07-19T08:08:00.000-04:00

This past week has been pretty busy, but we made it! The 4-H fair, the King's obligations and the play all falling in one week was nuts, but we did it. Abeba was a great sport. We were so proud of her. She had to sit through what seemed like endless hours of judging projects, many trips in and out of the car, and a 2 1/2 hour play three days in row. Abeba was a real trooper! The fair was a success. Eli and Hannah both got champion in one project each and Eli gets to take his weather project to the State Fair once again. Israel had a grand time being King (though he had to juggle his king duties with 5 hours of play practice each day!). He is certainly a girl magnet and is certainly not afraid to talk to any that might come up to chat!

The play was a success though we have 4 pretty tired kids. We don't have much on the calendar for today...just hang out and rest!

Here are pictures from the week....Enjoy!

Thankfully, there is a park at the fairgrounds. This was a great getaway for Abeba!

Israel and Macy at the Cat Show.

Israel with all "his" queens :)

Peter Pan Scene

The Darling Children...not to be confused with the Darling Children (think Peter Pan)!

Hannah, Eli , Israel and Jocelyn

Israel with his new buddies, the Coughlin Twins....oh do they have fun together! The Coughlin family is a local family we met this summer during the play. They are leaving in few weeks to go to Ethiopia to get their two daughters. Check out their blog "4 Double G Ranch" on our blog roll. Please be praying for their family.

Hannah with her new friend Jocelyn. She is the sister of the twins....

Hannah playing Nana!

Can you find our lost boys????

Still looking???

Captain Hook, he played that part pretty well! Abeba was scared of that "bad boy!"

Hannah playing her second part....a mermaid. She is the one on bottom, left.

Lost boys hiding that they shot down that Wendy Bird......

We have a King!

2010-07-12T07:19:00.000-04:00

As part of the 4-H fair in our county, we have a Little Mister and Little Miss Contest which coincides with the Queen Contest. It is always so cute to see a little 5 or 6 year old girl and boy dressed up in a crown walking around the fair, but who knew it would be our child doing that??? This March Israel heard about this contest from his older siblings and thought it would be a great idea for him :) So, Justin and I thought, why not? It would be fun for the little guy....he loves dressing up and such! Last night was the contest, and he came out on top. He was chosen from only 4 other boys (more girls participate in something like this, of course!). He did a great job on his interview and modeling of his two outfits. Evidently, this little guy is not afraid of getting up in front of a crowd. He definitely gets this from daddy, not me!
I guess we will find out just how many small town parades are in our county this next year, but that is okay. It will be something special for him to do. Now Abeba is already asking when SHE can put on a pretty dress and get on stage!!! Oh My! There is so not ever a boring moment in our household!

We are thankful that God is giving Israel this opportunity and for us as a family to be a shining light for HIM in a different crowd than we are normally not around. Praise God for new opportunities!

A Great Ministry..Great Friends...Great Blessings

2010-07-10T17:30:00.000-04:00

Tom and Sally Baer

Please take a few minute to check out the new website for 6 Baer Essentials Ethiopia. This is a ministry that our family has been involved in for some time now. I (Justin ) am blessed to be serving on the Board of Directors for their ministry as well. The Baers have a heart for the people of Ethiopia, are an adoptive family and live for the Glory of God. It is awesome to see how God has been working in the Dahley Community in Ethiopia through Tom and Sally Baer, their family and the others there. Take some time to check out the website, make a donation, pray for God's will in this great ministry. If you have questions, give me an email or a phone call, I would love to tell you more about it.

6 Baer Essentials Ethiopia

Baer Project Video

2010-07-07T12:03:00.000-04:00

If you have more questions about the Baer's projects in Ethiopia, let us know. We are blessed to serve on the Board of Directors for them. They are doing amazing work in the Dahley community in Ethiopia.

16 years of Blessings

2010-06-24T07:29:00.000-04:00

Last Friday Justin and I celebrated our 16th Wedding Anniversary. My sweet husband took me out for a surprise date Friday afternoon which thrilled me! I came home from retrieving kids from play practice and his truck was sitting in the drive! Hooray! He had arranged for "back-up" for Hannah (she is babysitting for us now, but when we leave for an extended period of time, she sometimes needs help w/ refereeing the two little ones.) and he had the movie time all picked out. We went and saw Toy Story 3 (believe it is better than the first two!) and then came home. You see, we had to go to Justin's parents house that evening for a family reunion the next day......I cherished those two hours we had together without any interruptions. Ahhh.....

I can't believe that we have been married for 16 years. The time just simply goes more quickly each year. Our time here on earth is really so short and that becomes more real to me as I grow older. I still remember so many details of our wedding day that it really seems like yesterday!

Our marriage really does get sweeter with each passing year. Each year we grow closer through the joys of seeing our children maturing, through trials and adversities, by working side by side on construction projects and through the reading of the scriptures and Godly books. I am thankful for my husband who brings so much to our marriage. He is so wise, so strong in his faith and frankly, just the best husband there is, I think. God has given our children and myself a true gift.

I want to share a book that I have been reading which is an excellent marriage strengthening book. It is called "Sweethearts for a Lifetime" by Wayne and Carol Mack. It is a devotional type book with a lot of scripture and application questions. Justin and I have read through some of it together, but lately I have been finishing it up independently since Justin has been busy w/ school papers. I read through a chapter and then bring it up for discussion after the kids go to bed that evening. Each section has great application questions that bring up some discussions that Justin and I may have never thought about or discussed in depth. We highly recommend this book for any stage of marriage. Wayne Mack has another book " Strengthening Your Marriage" which is another excellent marriage devotion/study. We did that one as a Sunday School class study probably 10 years ago. Check these books out, your marriage will thank you!

I am so thankful that God instituted marriage. I can't imagine life on earth without it. I know that some people God meant to be single, but for those He knew couldn't make it alone, I am glad and thankful that God gave us spouses. Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and what he has done for us, and for that I am eternally thankful.

Summer Play

2010-06-06T16:04:00.000-04:00

The kids always look forward to this time of the year. Our local library (which just happens to be the best in the midwest, if you ask me!!) puts on a summer theater production as part of their reading program. Last year's play was Charlotte's Web and this year's production will be Peter Pan. The kids just love this story, perhaps because it fits our "Darling Family"!

The kids got their part assignments last week and are excited about their make believe personalities. Hannah gets the part of Nana (the dog), Eli is going to be a lost boy (one of the twins) and Israel is the youngest of the lost boys. Abeba gets the important part of being the audience (she was wanting a part, so we told her she would be that part, and she was thrilled!!).

The summer rush has now begun. The van does not sit idle for very long and there is not a whole lot of down time. In between rehersals 4-H projects must get done, flower beds and the garden need weeded and produce must make it to a jar or the freezer. These are busy times, but ones that create a long list of memories for the family, and I am quite alright with that!

Updated Bathroom Progress

2010-05-24T08:11:00.000-04:00

We are well on our way to having an extra bathroom in our home. In fact, we might have a running toilet, sink and shower by the end of today!! We are so excited (little things excite us :) !! We worked almost every day last week hanging the bead board, painting and hanging trim. The floor people came in last week and put down the prettiest vinyl floor I think I have every seen :) It looks like hardwood, but has the cleaning ease of vinyl. Love it, Love it! Eli cracked me up when he said on Friday, "This sure is a fancy bathroom!" I don't know if I would call it fancy, but it is sure an improvement on what the room was!! I am thrilled with how all the little details that we planned and how they have all worked together to make a bathroom that will be functional and fitting in our old farmhouse. We feel so blessed to have such a gift of a new bathroom, God has been super kind!

Yesterday, we were forced into clean-up phase. Doing construction in your house is very messy. The dust creeps everywhere. Saturday night I realized that Israel had head lice. Not just a lite case, but a full blown infestation! YUCK!! So, we stayed home from church yesterday to prevent any sharing and cleaned house. We vacuumed and did laundry all day. Probably will be doing it all day today too. Needless to say, the construction dust was all cleaned up before the project is done. I guess the clean-up after it is done will be a whole lot easier!

Here are a few pictures of the almost finished project:

We decided to hang a tin ceiling because the plaster was ruined because of water damage done many years ago. Only lathe was holding up the insulation above so we put up plywood to hold all the lathe in place. I love the "old" feeling the tin gives to the room.

Vanity before the sink...

The shower is here in this space. We had to elevate the shower and toilet because the floor joists were going in the wrong direction. Building codes have definitely changed since 1885!! I like the look it gave the room.

Hannah and I decided on a very light mint green. It looks great with the white ceiling and darker floor color.

Woohoo!!

2010-05-17T08:04:00.000-04:00

School's out!

Teacher let the monkeys out!!

Bathroom Renovation

2010-05-13T12:24:00.000-04:00

Some of you may be aware that we live in an old farm house. A 130 year old farmhouse; one that needed A LOT of work when we moved in 10 years ago. We have come a long way in our renovations and are always excited when the bank account has enough in it to start a new project. Over the years we have moved a kitchen, stripped paint and old varnish off of a many of doors and stair spindles, redone the concrete on a wrap around porch, taken down old trees and landscaped the yard. Our newest project is one that is ranking up as one of the most exciting....a second bathroom! With a family of 6 it will certainly be a plus! We have converted half of an upstairs bedroom into a full bath. We are all pretty thrilled!

The house is somewhat in shambles. It always gets that way during construction. After all, why clean the dust multiple times when you can just do it once or twice?? :) We are all walking around shower walls, sink bases and tools, but we are alright with that for now.

The bathroom is not done yet, but getting there. A neighbor who is an expert on plumbing and electricity is doing just that, the plumbing and electrical (those are two things my dear honey will not go too far with!). When he gets that done, then we will do the finish work.

Here are some pictures of the progress so far.....

The vanity has been sitting in our hallway for a few weeks now. The bathroom is upstairs, so we are only going to carry that monster up stairs only once! We just have to remember that it is there at 2 am!!

I can't get a very good picture right now of the bathroom. This picture is of the shower hole.

Hail to the Chief!

2010-04-30T14:23:00.000-04:00

During the month of March and April, a job opportunity opened up for Justin. One that he knew that he could not pass up. He applied for the job and got through the 1st process with an application and an initial interview. He was contacted a couple of weeks later that he was offered another interview. We were excited about that! He was offered the job and the news became official during our week of vacation. He is now employed by NIPSCO, a utility company in our area, as their Hydro Compliance Supervisor. He will be watching over the paperwork involved in the two local dams in our area. He will oversee the dams security and compliance with the state and federal agencies. We are all excited about this new adventure. NIPSCO will be a great company to work for with many opportunities for Justin. Thankfully, we don't have to make a move with this new job.

All this change brings about bittersweet thoughts for Justin and myself. Justin will be leaving a profession that we have known for 16 years (we've been married for 16yrs). Law Enforcement is all that we have known. There will be no more shelf of radios and flashlights in our laundry room. There will be no more stacks of hats, uniforms and gear in our closet. This will all be strange for awhile, but Justin is ready. He is ready to be in the private sector which will be a little less stress. Of course, all jobs have stress, but I believe that law enforcement is one of the higher stress jobs.

We are grateful to God for the different police jobs Justin has had. He has learned a lot about himself and about others. He has sacrificed a lot of time in training and working, but that has now all paid off. I am thankful for the lessons that God has taught me over this time. He taught me to less self-centered and not to worry. Believe me, when I still hear sirens, my heart still picks up pace and an immediate prayers go up for my hubby!

We are thankful for all the people that we have met over the years, people that we would have never met had Justin not been a police officer. God gave Justin many times to be a witness for HIS sake when people were hurt or at their lowest.

We are grateful that Delphi's mayor gave Justin the opportunity to be police chief (chief is an appointed position). The past two years have been a wonderful experience for our family. Justin made new contacts and learned even more about himself. We will all miss the people in the Delphi City Building and are thankful for the memories made there.

So on we go on a new adventure. A new chapter in our life. We are thrilled and excited about what God has in store for us next!!

Vacation!

2010-04-25T22:05:00.006-04:00

April has been another whirlwind. I mentioned that we had a lot going on in March and April has been no different. We have had a lot of "irons in the fire". I will go into more detail about all the changes that have been going on in our lives later, but for now details about our last minute decision to go on our vacation for the year. We had to move our planned vacation to go to Washington D.C. in September to last week. We were excited to get away for a week and do some good family time. We had such a good time. We were able to stay with my cousin and her family while we were in D.C. which was a bonus. They were great hosts and helped us stay in the D.C. area more easy on our wallet. A BIG thanks to the Hammond family!! Another bonus was that my aunt was able to be there too which made for some great family time as well as a built in babysitter for two little ones that would not be interested in some of the D.C. sites.

We were able to visit the Air and Space Museum at Dulles Airport (very cool), the Natural and American History Museums and most of the memorials. We saw the capital, White House and the Library of Congress. We also made it to the National Zoo which Abeba seemed to enjoy. A favorite of the two older kids and mom and dad (didn't take the two little ones to this) was Arlington Cemetary. It was pouring rain on the afternoon we were there, but it didn't seem to matter to any of us. It is such a place of honor for so very many of America's bravest people

One big hit for Israel was the butterfly house in the Natural History Museum; he just loves butterflies! Eli loved the Lincoln Memorial. He has read a lot of books about Lincoln and I believe that I can say that he is Eli's favorite president. Hannah was the main picture taker and did a fabulous job at it. She loved the memorials. I was thrilled to finally have the opportunity to be there. This was my first trip to D.C. and I am already ready to go back and dig in deeper. Justin was glad to finally catch some memorials that he had not visited yet. He too really enjoyed Arlington.

We were so thankful to have the opportunity to go on such a grand vacation. It is the first major road trip that we have taken as a family of 6. It was awesome, simply awesome, to be in our Nation's Capital.

There is so much there.Here are pictures of our week:

Happy Birthday for Eli!!

2010-04-14T21:32:00.000-04:00

Today is Elijah's 11th Birthday! Again, I am reminded just how quickly time flies by. It just seems like yesterday when my boy was born. Eli is such a gentleman. He is growing and maturing into such a lovely, young man. I am always quite proud of how he acts in public. He makes sure that he stops and opens the doors for ladies (old and young!) including his mother. He loves to participate in Sunday School and is never shy about answering questions (I know, I'm his teacher :). He is very knowledgeable about the Bible for his age, and he understands many theological topics that might stump an adult. Eli loves a good joke and his laugh is so contagious that he will bring the whole house to laughter at once in a matter of minutes. He brings so much joy and laughter to our home.

For his birthday we got him an air rifle. This boy loves to shoot and is pretty good at it too. He has got champion or reserve champion in air pistol the past two years in 4-H. Pretty good since he is up against high school age kids! He had a lot of fun shooting at a box target this afternoon with his new gun.

Happy Birthday Eli! You are one amazing son! We love you so much, Mom and Dad

March Madness

2010-04-08T08:35:00.000-04:00

Our family experienced some March Madness of our own. I realized lately that I haven't posted in almost a month! Yikes, I am so sorry. March has been nonstop and April doesn't seem to be letting up either. On March 18th my 84 year old Grandmother passed away. I mentioned that she was in failing health before. She was a strong woman who endured 8 brain hemorrhages, Alzheimers, a broken hip and a broken ankle. The doctors told her after her first hemorrhage that she would probably not live to see 45, but God blessed her with almost twice that in years. She taught me many things as a child and teenager and I will be forever grateful to her for those. I will miss her dearly. The week after the funeral our niece and nephew were scheduled to come for a week over their spring break. We had such a great time. They are 10 and 8 in age, so they were a lot of fun to have around. We went to Fair Oaks Dairy in Northern Indiana for one day (check it out if you have never been there!!) and saw mass amounts of dairy cattle being milked on a "Dairy Go Round", a calf born and I had the best butter pecan ice cream ever (it is made fresh out of fresh cream). The kids spent a lot of time just playing which was fabulous.

Another important happening in March was Israel's 6th birthday. I can't believe that he is 6, time just goes by so quickly. We celebrated with Justin's parents on his birthday with a batman birthday cake. He is having fun figuring out all the different ways he can put up six fingers. Maybe math will come easy for him! He has been pretty witty lately. Yesterday, I took the three older kids to the neighbors for kindergarten day at the farm. Hannah and Eli helped with showing the animals to the kids and Israel went along to watch since he is a kindergartner. I left to run some errands and while I was gone I guess some of the adult chaperons told Israel he needed to get with his class. He came back with, "Really, I don't have a class, I am home schooled!" Hilarious! One adult even spoke to him from the bus while he was standing with me that he needed to go get with his class :) I got the joy of saying he was with me that time! Another funny saying went like this.....While he was watching his favorite show, the Electric Company, and the word "Mushroom" appeared on the t.v. Israel looked at me and said," Mommy, mushroom is a really big word!" He paused for a few seconds and then said, "It is really big word for such a little thing!" I had to smile, pretty big thinking for a six year old!

We have also had some projects that we had been planning to do, but somehow started this past week all at the same time! We had 3 trees cut down that were rotting, and also we have been purchasing and ordering parts for our new bathroom! We are all excited to have a second bathroom. Having only one bathroom for six people can be a big hairy at times, but we made it work. We are grateful that we are able to finally do this project.

Whew, we are tired, but we will keep on going. It is spring, so it is time to get in shape and get moving! God helped give us a good shove and got us going!

My camera is giving me fits, so I am not able to post any pictures from the month. I have a lot! Hopefully, I will get that resolved and will have them up soon.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

2010-03-17T10:34:00.000-04:00

Today is a special day in the Darling home. We like to celebrate Justin's Irish ancestors and their heritage with some corned beef, mashed potatoes, pumpernickle bread, cabbage, and bread pudding (and an Irish beer too!). It is a fun day each year that we all look forward to. Hope you have a great St. Patty's Day!!

An Old Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Special Times

2010-03-11T12:26:00.000-05:00

Growing up I always loved spending time with my aunts. They were ladies who would do things with my siblings and I that our mom would not normally do. You know...go to the zoo, let you swim when you wanted, let you have cookies and candy before a meal, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, our aunts lived states away, so our time with them was minimal. Our children got to share in this pleasure last week with my aunt from Colorado. She came back to Indiana in order to visit my grandma (she is in poor health, prayers would be appreciated please), and she was able to stay with our family for a couple of days. It was great to see her, my cousin and my new second cousin whom I had yet to meet. We all had such a great time together.

My aunt Janet brought craft projects, ingredients to make cookies and ,of course, bags of candy and unhealthy, snacky stuff. The kids had a blast making a mess with her She even took them on an adventure to Chucky Cheeses and Ice Cream at Culvers while I was able to get out and do some shopping by myself. I was even able to meet a friend for lunch! It was time every mom cherishes! I am so thankful that my aunt was able to come and spend some extra time at our home. Thanks Aunt Janet for spoiling our kids with some old fashioned fun and lots of love!!

Abeba working on her butterflies for the butterfly mobile...lots and lots of glitter glue and stickers needed!

While the older two tried to create masterpieces!

Can you tell that Abeba is enjoying this???

My aunt brought princess crowns for all the girl cousins to wear.

Papaw Baker and baby Dawsyn (isn't he just the cutest thing???)

Newest cousin Ava, she is a sweetie!

Older cousins playing Kemps

My sister Sarah, her daughter and my cousin, Amy, and her daughter

Verse of the Day...

2010-03-04T21:31:00.000-05:00

Needed to remind myself of this verse a lot today. I came across this verse last summer. I am sure that I had read it several times before but this time it stuck out in boldness. I have used it a lot to remind myself while in the midst of difficult days. Perhaps you might need it too??
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9

Thousand Dollar Smile!

2010-03-03T15:58:00.000-05:00

Today marked a milestone for our Hannah. Today she was fitted with braces! This process is going to take a couple of years to achieve a straight set of chompers, but she is ready. I think she looks beautiful! Don't you think?? I just wish it was only a thousand dollar smile!!

Glamour Shot

2010-02-21T16:21:00.000-05:00

Hair!

Curly Hair!

REALLY Curly Hair!!!

Abeba's hair care has been a challenge and a learning experience for us. We have learned a lot over the course of a year; mostly from the internet and from reading blogs about black hair care. I have found there are MANY different types of black hair ranging from a little curly to super, tight curls. Abeba has the really tight curl. I have had some time to learn because her hair was so short in the beginning because of her ringworm. She is now getting some length on her hair and now the work begins! I have found some awesome hair care products called Blended Beauty Hair Care. It is all natural stuff and works really well with her hair. I am not one that wants to put a lot of chemicals on our kids and this product seems to avoid those harsh chemicals. Here is a link for the place that I get her products from: http://www.sistasplace.com/ . We have also found the black hair care is NOT cheap. Be prepared to spend a little (or a lot!).

Another problem for Abeba's poor head of locks is this dry, harsh Indiana winter. Winter is dry, so Abeba's hair will get super dry to the touch if I am not on top of things. When her hair gets dry, Abeba starts itching and her hair begins breaking off. Last night, I put her in the tub and realized just how dry her hair was. I have read a little that capturing moisture from conditioner is beneficial and adding a little heat is also a help. So, I wrapped the little gal's hair in saran wrap and then in a towel to trap escaping heat. I think it helped. Her hair feels so much better today. Here is a picture of her "ice cream cone head" (that's what Abeba said of herself!). Too cute not to capture with a picture!!

Abeba's hair is also now long enough for little pig tails on top. That has been a lot of fun too. We had in pink ribbons for Valentine's Day. Too sweet!

The Darling Diner

2010-02-16T15:07:00.002-05:00

Have I mentioned that we have the coolest, greatest kids in the world? I am sure that I am not exaggerating, either! Last week, the kids asked if they could fix dinner on Friday night, and, of course, I accepted that offer quickly! They then got busy with cookbooks and pencils to find the perfect meal. They made up my shopping list for the meal and had it all planned out, down to the last detail. It was a grand meal. I have a picture of the menu made for the occasion.

Justin's Birthday falls the day after Valentine's Day, so the kids decided that this would be a combination Valentines and Birthday meal. We had our own table, set with crystal, candellite and my "company dishes". We had a 4 course meal with sparkling cranberry juice, and we even had our own personal waiter!!

The meal was delicous. Have I mentioned that the two older kids have a nack and talent for cooking?? Justin and I enjoyed some time alone and loved every minute of it. Even Abeba got into the whole evening...too sweet!

After the meal was over and dishes collected, I headed to my purse to dig out 4 one dollar bills. I handed each one a tip for the evening. The older two declined but eventually accepted! Abeba was excited that she got fifteen dollars (that is what she calls all money!) and Israel handed me the dollar back and said, " You wouldn't happen to have a Twenty would you??" What a riot! He happened to be saving for a video game and all he needed was twenty more dollars :)

Anyway, again, I am reminded how wonderful our kids are. They are growing up so quickly. It is neat to see how the older two are maturing into wonderful, responsible, loving young adults. I have to remind myself sometimes of the almost "finished product" when I am exasperated with the piddly bickering and whining of preschoolers.....they do grow out of it and it happens too quickly!! I can't believe how fast the years are going.

We got Daddy a new suit jacket, pants, shirt and tie for his birthday...he'll look good for Easter!!

I snapped this while the kids were eating their dinner...served after they served their parents!!

Newest Family Member

2010-02-02T15:34:00.001-05:00

Well, here she is! We added a new family member today, Nora. She is a Dutch Shepherd and is 3 mos. old. Isn't she cute?? A dog has always been an asset to our family. Justin and I had our first Shepherd before Hannah was born. Tori was her name and was she ever a great dog. She watched over me while Justin worked nights for 10 years and would let me know when anything was going on in the house or outside. We had to put her down about 3 years ago and boy do we miss her. We had 2 other Shepherds so we didn't replace Tori. Recently, one of the other 2 dogs died unexpectedly. We are down to one Shepherd who is 14 years old so we decided it was time for another watch dog. Having a dog in the yard while the children are playing gives mom peace of mind!

So, sorry for all the hype. It was all in fun. Hope no one is disappointed! The Darlings are excited though to have a new adopted family member. (This one was certainly a quicker process!!)

It is great to know that If we were to adopt another "two legged" blessing, you are all there! Thanks for the encouraging words!!!

More Coming Tomorrow, But for now....

2010-02-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

Brown eyes......

European Decent....

Female.....

3 mos old.....

Family News....

2010-01-30T18:51:00.000-05:00

The Darling family is adopting again!!!.....More details on Tuesday!

WHY?????

2010-01-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

Abeba has entered another fun phase of toddlerhood...the WHY??? stage! This stage is one with many opportunities to teach and explain, and can even simply get a bit irritating at times! I give Abeba a task to complete like picking up her toys...but WHY? I tell her to sit down in her chair....but WHY?? "Can I have a piece of gum???" No...but WHY??? Parents you know how it goes!

Last night I found a baby doll for bedtime that just happened to be a black skinned baby doll. It was in the bottom of the toy box so she had not seen it for awhile. She was excited because the baby was an "Abeba baby" (this is what she calls other children she sees with black skin). We proceeded to bed when she commented on the baby's color. "Why?", she said. "Why is Abeba baby blue (aka black :)? Me blue??" she said and then came the "WHY?"

What a great teaching opportunity for me! A verse came to my mind pretty quickly...."For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.." Psalms 139:13-14. I told her that God made her that way. Of course this led to more questions. Daddy blue? Eli blue? Israel blue? It was a heart warming conversation. I look forward to the day that I can explain to her how God put her in the womb of her Ethiopian mama so that someday I would have the privilege to be her American mama. It is neat to know she sees a simple difference for now and is content with it. I am sure that more complicated questions will come someday, but for now I will be thankful for the simplicity of that little word... WHY???

One year ago---today

2010-01-10T15:40:00.003-05:00

One year ago today Justin and I were in Washington D.C Dulles Airport waiting to board Ethiopian Airlines. We were on a mission! To get to Ethiopia and bring home our daughter, Abeba. We can't believe that a year has passed by so quickly. It has been a rollercoaster of a year, full of changes and full of blessings. Here is a video of a selection of pictures taken throughout the year.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sweet 13...

2010-01-04T19:09:00.000-05:00

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:3,4

Today is our oldest daughter, Hannah's, 13th birthday. It just seems like yesterday that we were in the hospital experiencing labor pains for the first time. We were so young then, and had so much to learn as parents. We knew that we were about to enter a new phase of our lives...one that would forever change our lives. We certainly went in not knowing a whole lot about parenting, but we certainly were willing to learn and were looking forward to it. The Lord brought into our arms, Hannah Elaine, on January 4th, 1997 at about 2am. She was beautiful, perfect and a gift from God.

Hannah at 3 mos. old

Parenting is not an easy road as all parents would say. It is one that is worth all the work though. God has taught us a lot the past 13 years: patience, joy, selflessness, love, how to show love and so much more. For this we are so thankful. Being a parent is such a blessing. Children are truely a gift from God. Hannah is one of our gifts.

Hannah about 3 years old

Hannh, you are such a blessing to our family. You are willing to do hard things, to stand up for what you believe in, and you work with diligence to accomplish your tasks. You have such a sweet personality. You love those who need love. God has given you a special heart for those that are hurting and you long to help them. Your desire is to serve your God, no matter the cost. I thank God for you my sweet daughter..I love you! Happy 13th birthday, Hannah!

Hannah opening her gift...I decided to make 13 special for her. Justin and I decided to give her the first diamond ring he gave me. It is a heart shape with a small diamond in the center.

13 candles on top of Hannah's favorite birthday cake.....a homemade ice cream cake...Yummy!

Blue Moon....

2009-12-31T21:47:00.000-05:00

This week I read that this New Year's Eve we would experience a Blue Moon in the Western Hemisphere. I have never really thought about the origin of the phrase "Once in a Blue Moon" but after reading this article it all made sense to me. A blue moon is when there are two full moons that occur in one month. This only occurs like only 4-6 years. Very interesting, I then knew exactly what that phrase really meant! Justin says that "useless knowledge" is a good thing to have.

Well, today our family had what I hope is a "once in a blue moon" kind of day!

This morning was hard to get out of bed for most of us. I was up with Israel and Abeba off and on all night. Both are struggling with colds and sinus infection. Coughing and stuffy noses were the trouble. I believe that maybe 2 hours of uninterupted sleep was under my belt. Never a great way to get a day going! The morning was busy as we were planning to head to Justin's parents for the weekend. It was questionable given the night that we had, but none the less, I began packing. Justin and Eli headed out mid morning for a trip to the barber. Two minutes had passed by when the house phone rang, and Justin was on the other end saying that he had wrecked and slid his car off the road. Thankfully, Justin and Eli were not hurt at all, but Justin's car is now headed to the body shop for a new front bumper. Of course, the last day of the year we will meet that deductible!! I was glad to have my two men back home in one piece and unhurt. God is gracious.

We got all of our bags packed and put into the car to head to grandpa and grandma's. Everyone was excited to get away and the coughing had mostly subsided, or so I thought. We started on our way with a stop to pick up some things for New Year's Eve and got on the road. About 5miles down the road, Israel started coughing non stop. You guessed it, he began to throw up! Ugh....Justin looked at me and we turned the car around and headed home - four disappointed kids in the car and no doubt 2 bummed grandparents two hours away.

We have spent the evening watching movies and playing Mario on the Wii. Not exactly what we had planned, but that is okay. We have learned when you have 4 kids, nothing is ever for sure. No promises can be made. It is always a reminder that we are not the ones in control of our lives. God's providential plans and will will be done, no matter what our earthly plans may be. For that I am thankful!

I must say though, that I hope that this kind of day only happens "Once in a Blue Moon!"

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T16:44:00.002-05:00

Christmas Day has come and gone and it was a joy to experience Christmas Day as a family of 6! I remember last year sitting Christmas morning looking forward to leaving in 10 days to get our daughter half way across the world. What a great blessing to have us all sitting around Christmas morning reading Luke's account of Christ's birth.

Justin and I have started a tradition in our family for Christmas. Instead of spending money on gifts for the kids to have sitting around the tree on Christmas morning, we take a surprise trip. We fill up their stockings and get each one game to open on Christmas morning. We then load up the car and take off for a Christmas day get-a-way. This year we went to Caribbean Cove in Indianapolis. It is an indoor water park and hotel. We spent Christmas afternoon playing in the water and then spent the evening watching "A Christmas Story", eating finger foods that we brought, and playing their new games. It is such a memorable event for the kids; one that won't break or be lost in corner in two months. We find the kids really looking forward to their surprise trip. I didn't take any pictures of the water park....didn't want to mess with a camera, sorry!!

Finals Week

2009-12-18T21:26:00.006-05:00

As many college students prepared for final tests this week our family prepared for our own week of "finals". On Monday, our social worker visited us for the last time. Our one year anniversary of having Abeba in our arms is coming quickly (Jan 12th). Since Gladney likes to have their post-placement assessments in their hands two weeks prior to milestone dates (3mos, 6mos and 12 mos) we decided that we better get a jump on getting Abeba's final post-placement done. It was bittersweet.....Abeba had a grand time with Paul and showed him a good picture of what she has accomplished this year. He was amazed at her vocabulary....this gal simply doesn't stop talking!!!Paul and Abeba

The other "final" that we accomplished this week was re-adoption. We had to go to Indianapolis (about 1 1/2 hour drive) to get this done. We decided that we would tackle the paperwork ourselves and save money. Thankfully, the lady in the probate court for adoptions is very helpful to families who wish to do the paperwork themselves. She was a fantastic help! Please contact us if you would like her contact information if you live in Indiana. The re-adoption will get Abeba an Indiana state issued birth certificate and will make her name change. In Ethiopia when an adoption is final, the child takes the father's first name as their middle name. So, now Abeba Justin is now officially Abeba Faith!! It was a great hurdle to cross and it felt good to finally have that under our belt. It was dirt cheap in comparison to many other processes ($30!!!). We do have one more form to fill out with the Fed's once we get her Birth Certificate. Unfortunately, that one isn't as cheap (about $450.00) !!!

We are getting excited about celebrating Abeba's one year anniversary of "Gottcha Day". We are planning something special...Stay tuned!

Playing Dress-up

Random Pictures

2009-12-09T15:57:00.008-05:00

The past few weeks have been a little busy around the Darling home. You know...Christmas decorating to do, pictures to take, letters to write, school to do, laundry, house cleaning, potty training...typical December stuff! Here are some random pictures of our family Thanksgiving gathering, Abeba's first tree decorating, and other stuff. Enjoy!

Abeba is getting into the "pretty lights". She notices them while we are driving around town at dark.

Thank you Aunt Gwyn for adding another super hero to our home!!

Snapped this before my hubby left to escort the Christmas parade. Love the hat and uniform...maybe the chief could change the dress code???

Daddy trying his hand at Mamaw's new purchase.....Wii Resort.

Abeba loved holding a real baby....too sweet!

I found this Kodak moment one morning...Abeba loves reading books!!

Thanksgiving Essays

2009-11-25T10:28:00.004-05:00

For school today I decided to have the kids write an essay about what they are thankful for. I was pleased with their writings and thought I would share them with you.

Hannah's:

Thanksgiving

There are many thing to be thankful for in my life. I have gone through many time that I have been very thankful. The first and most important thing that I am thankful for is Jesus dying on the cross for a sinner like me. He paid my debts on calvary. I am also thankful for the freedom in our country to go to church and be able to own God's Word.

My family is next in line. god has blessed me with wonderful Christian parents who teach me and my siblings God's Word. I am thankful for Eli, Israel, and Abeba. My church family is also something I am very thankful for. I am also blessed with wonderful Christian friends. Aunt, uncles, cousins, grandmas and grandpas are one my list too.

God has given my dad a good job that gives us plenty of money to pay for our house, food, clothes, and a car. I also can't forget the animals we have. Yes, even the chickens. Without chickens we wouldn't get the eggs we get and without the cats and dogs who knows what kind of rodents we could have!

Here are a few verses from the Bible about Thanksgiving:

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" I Thes. 5:16-18

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!" Psalm 118:1

This Thanksgiving make sure you praise and thank God for all he has given you even in times of trouble.

Elijah's:

Things I am Thankful for

I am thankful for God's blessings because without God's blessings I wouldn't have my house, my family, and I wouldn't have Abeba.

Another thing I am thankful for is my parents. I am so blessed to have parents like them. They discipline us when we need it. They are very loving and they are very caring and many other things too.

There are many other things I am thankful for, but those are the things I am most thankful for. Thanksgiving is not about eating as much dressing you can. It is about being thankful to God. I hope you will remember that this Thanksgiving.

These words brought joy to my heart. I pray that we ponder on them on this Thanksgiving Day.

"This is the Day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!!"

2009-11-24T13:26:00.010-05:00

I wanted to post the Thanksgiving Blessings that I got on the past blog post about Thanksgiving. Below is what you said:
Tracy said... In regard to my father's miraculous recovery, I am so thankful for the answered prayer: Emily said...I am thankful to have BOTH my boys home! At Thanksgiving last year we were 3 months into our wait and it seemed we may NEVER meet our little boy! God is so good!; Gina said...I am thankful for His faithfulness and for the constant reminder of it through a beautiful sunrise each morning.; Kelsie said...I'm thankful for God's amazing grace. I'm only a sinner saved by (that) grace...; Anonymous said...I am thankful for my beautiful kids and wonderful job.

Some of the things that I am thankful are:
1. Being able to worship and study the Word of God without persecution.
2. God has blessed us with four, healthy children
3. I have a wonderful husband who loves his children and wife and is faithful to our God.
4. That God gave us the opportunity to go to Ethiopia this year to bring our daughter home and to experience the love and humility of the Ethiopian people.
5. That God taught us so many lessons while we waited to go to Ethiopia!
6. For dear friends who keep me on track!
7. That God meets our needs and blesses us beyond what we deserve.
8. For the love, mercy and grace that God shows me each day.
9. For missionaries, who have gone before us and for those now, who have faithfully taken God's Word and gospel message to all lands and to all people.
10. That God chose me, a wretched sinner, to be a part of his kingdom.

I pray that we all reflect on what we are thankful for this Thanksgiving.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his mercy endures forever" Psalm 118:1

Delicious!

2009-11-18T15:19:00.003-05:00

These muffins are simply delicious! They fill you home with yummy, fall smells while they are baking too. Give them a try!

Baked Apple Donuts

3 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp nutmeg
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup shortening
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup milk
2 cup finely diced, peeled apple

Topping:
1/2 cup BUTTER, melted
1 cup sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

Mix dry ingredients with fork. Cut in shortening until crumbly. In another bowl, mix eggs, milk and apples. Add to dry ingredients. Spoon into greased muffin tins. Bake at 350 for 20-25 min. or until golden. When donuts are done and slightly cooled, dip in melted butter and roll in the mixture of cinnamon and sugar. Yield 1 1/2 doz.

These are good cool, but a whole lot better warm with a cup of coffee!!

Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Bunting

2009-11-12T13:13:00.006-05:00

I decided (finally) what to send our new Ethiopian Pen Pals. I saw this Thanksgiving Bunting idea in the paper last week and thought that might be something special to make and send across the world to our newest friends. The kids helped me make it with each one taking part in the process. Abeba held and carried the fabric and ribbon through the store and home, Hannah and Eli helped sew the circles, Israel turned them inside out and Mommy sewed it all together. Each of us wrote one or two things on tags that we later attached with ribbon in between each half circle. We left half of the tags empty so that the Baer family could attach what they are thankful for. I was super pleased with how the bunting turned out and I just might make another for our home. I was able to do it all in an afternoon and evening with a break in between to make, serve and clean up dishes! That is my kind of project!

I know that Ethiopia does not celebrate Thanksgiving as we know it, but I think that we all need to remember just how much God has blessed us all- no matter where we are in the world!

Here are some pictures:

Don't forget to post what you are thankful for. I will be putting that together the week of Thanksgiving.

Thankful??

2009-11-10T13:59:00.004-05:00

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I thought it might be fun, interesting and thought provoking to list things that our blog readers and ourselves are thankful for. Please comment and tell us what you are thankful for this year. I will compile a list for us all to enjoy!

Helping Orphans, buying coffee..

2009-11-04T18:54:00.003-05:00

Our dear friends the Whipples have begun the process to adopt a boy from Rwanda. We are so excited for them and are looking forward to see how God will work all the details out, for his Glory.
You have an excellent opportunity to help bring the little Whip home and enjoy some great coffee at the same time. Just Love Coffee Store has a website that you can go to, order some great coffee (I recommend the Ethiopian) and $5 from your purchase will go towards the Whipples adoption. What could be better, helping orphans and buying coffee.

Here is the link to the store: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/whippleadoption

Ethiopian Pen Pals

2009-10-27T13:12:00.007-04:00

We received a package last week from a very special place, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We have met the Baer family since our trip to Addis Ababa and have kept up with their family. They recently moved from the US. to Ethiopia as missionaries to the Ethiopian people. They have 4 children as well and Mrs. Baer thought it might be fun to have some U.S. pen pals for their children and so we decided we would help them out in that endeavor :)

The Baers sent a lovely letter written by the children as well as a beautiful Ethiopian scarf. It is gorgeous! Here is a picture with it wrapped around our 4 children.

We met part of the Baer family when we were in Ethiopia picking up Abeba. Their oldest daughter was there spending some time in the orphanages and Mr. Baer just happened to be there visiting while we were there. It was a joy to meet them. They are a special family.

I have enjoyed reading Mrs. Baer's Facebook postings about their experiences in Ethiopia. Living in Ethiopia is definitely different than the lives we live here in the U.S. She tells of the simpler life style. She tells of the struggles of the Ethiopian people and how they as a family are striving to help. The stories are precious yet heartbreaking. So many need help.

I am thankful to God for the Baer family and for their work in this great country. Please join me in praying for them and for their ministry there.

Here is a link to their blog:
http://sixbaers.blogspot.com/2009/10/we-have-been-here-five-months-looking.html

So excited...

2009-10-26T13:56:00.002-04:00

Our dear friends The Whipples have this exciting announcement on their Blog today...
We can't wait to see what great things God is going to do to bring this little one home.

Check out their blog here:

http://whipplewords.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/here-we-go-again/

Picture Day

2009-10-20T15:39:00.014-04:00

Today after school, the teacher decided that we needed to take some school pictures. Ummm, it has been 2 years since I took individual pictures (sorry family!), so I decided we were overdue for some new. Below are the pictures that I captured on this gorgeous, fall day in Indiana. I am thankful that we have some very photogenic kids! Got any favorites????

Gladney Humanitarian Aid

2009-10-17T10:50:00.004-04:00

This is an excellent video just released by Gladney on their Humanitarian Aid projects, as well as adoption. Please watch the entire video. Look closely at 1:01 , in the crib, you might see someone you recognize ;)

One Year Ago Today

2009-10-06T13:23:00.008-04:00

One year ago today we received our referral call. It seems just like yesterday that our sweet caseworker's voice was on the phone telling us that she had special news for us. That morning was full of excitement, joy and thanksgiving to our Lord. We finally had a name and a face that went with our prayers! We all scrambled to the computer, all 5 of us, snuggled around the screen to see Abeba's face for the first time. We all had tears of joy in our eyes. It was an amazing day!

Our first picture of Abeba

Looking back to those "waiting days" I think of all the lessons that God taught us. To the families reading this post anticipating your phone call, I urge you to take these days that you await for the "call", to prepare yourself and to reflect on God's goodness to you. I think I speak for my whole
family when I say that many lessons were learned during the 6 mos. of waiting. We learned patience. We learned to have more faith in our Lord and to rely on him for everything, right down to the last penny needed. We have seen grace and mercy in all situations that we faced and we even experienced a financial miracle. I believe that God gave us that waiting period to draw us closer to him and to make sure that we had a total dependence on Him. I know that the days, weeks and months seemed long, but I am thankful for each of them. I know that God had October 6, 2008 in mind the whole time. It was a day set by him in eternity past, so that on that day (and many more to come) he would receive the glory due to him.

Last night I just happen to glance out the window to the east to see a beautiful, harvest moon rising above the horizon. I stepped out to look and quickly remembered doing the same thing about a year ago. I remembered looking at the full moon and praying for our daughter half way across the world. The world seemed small to me while I was standing under that moon lit sky. I knew that God had everything in his hands including the life of our newly named daughter. That gave me an incredible sense of peace!

I am reminded often of the lessons God taught us while we waited for our referral. I pray that I will never forget these lessons. I think He reminds me each time I look into the eyes of our precious Abeba Faith.

Health Concerns

2009-10-04T14:08:00.009-04:00

There have been very few health problems that we had to encounter with Abeba. We were told by our agency that she was a healthy little girl with no known health concerns. We took the lice and scabies medications with us when we went to Ethiopia just in case this was an issue, but thankfully that was not a problem. Abeba did have what seemed to be abnormal bowel problems though. I knew something was up there when I changed more than several dirty diapers in a day. We did find out after testing her here in the states that she did have giardia, a HIGHLY contagious parasite that is transmitted through feces and water. After two different rounds of medication, that problem was solved. It took several weeks for her little system to be normal. We could tell that she felt a whole lot better!

Another problem Abeba had was ringworm. She had this on her scalp. When we got her, I noticed she itched her head a lot. She had a large dry patch on the back of her head along with pus filled, pimple like bumps along her hair line and on the back of her head. Abeba was not blessed with a lot of hair yet and what hair she had was very patchy. We found out that this was caused by ringworm. Abeba was on oral meds for this problem for 10 weeks. That was a long time to get medicine down an 18month old, but we managed with a lot of bubble blowing for distraction! Abeba still struggles with ringworm once in awhile, but I put on a little anti fungal cream on the spot for a couple of days and it seems to go away. Her hair is still a little patchy and the doctor said it may never grow back in totally. Once her hair is longer I don't believe we'll even notice.

Skin and Hair care have been the most challenging things to overcome with adopting a toddler from Ethiopia. Their skin dries out quickly (especially in the cold, dry Indiana winter air) so I put on Aquaphor by Eucerin twice a day during the winter to help this out. You can tell she needs "greased up" because her skin becomes very ashy in appearance.

Hair is something that I am still learning about. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever learn it all! I have found a web site that is super helpful. It is http://www.sistasplace.com/. I have used a few of their hair products and they are wonderful! I have used the curly q custard, the Blended Beauty Curl Styling Butter, the Blended Cutie Tug me not Conditioner and the Blended Beauty Silky Swirls Shampoo. I love all these products and they smell heavenly! They do not leave a greasy residue like some products I have bought. We have learned that black hair care is not cheap so you must budget for it if you are wanting a good, healthy head of curls for your little one.

We are thankful that Abeba only had to deal with small, minor health issues. God has blessed us again with a healthy child.

Sleeping Arrangements

2009-09-30T16:43:00.003-04:00

One question that came to our minds when we got our referral was sleeping arrangements for our new daughter. We knew that we wanted our girls to share a room. Was it best to start Abeba out doing that immediately after we got home? We weren't sure. Since Abeba was going to be about 18 months when we got her home, was a crib or a bed going to be best. These all came to mind. Thankfully, people have gone before us in the adoption adventure so we called on their help (Thanks Shelly!).

The advice that we got was to put Abeba in a crib (for safety reasons) and to put her in our room to sleep. This is exactly what we did and we are pleased with how it turned out. Having Abeba in our room was great for the bonding experience and made it easier for me when she awoke. The first few weeks Abeba slept great. The time change didn't affect her at all it seemed. After the first month, Abeba began to have a couple of sleeping issues. She wanted held all night. At first, I was okay with this, I thought it was good for bonding. Then we began to be sleep deprived which in NOT good. We decided that we would pick her up, comfort her and then tell her to go back night, night. She didn't see the logic in this :) So, we had some nights that screaming displeasures were heard, but we persisted and persevered. Eventually, she got the idea and began to sleep through the night again. We were both thankful that that hurdle was over!

After 3 mos. Abeba's sleeping pattern was excellant, so we decided to move her to her new space with her big sister. Hannah was excited to have her sister in her room, finally! Mommy and Daddy were glad to have our space back too. ;)

Abeba occasionally had some night terrors, but they were short lived. I would hold her tightly though them and she eventually calmed down. She has not had any of these for about two months.

Abeba is still in her crib and has not figured how to crawl out of it.....YET! We plan to move her to a regular bed later this winter. Abeba is a great little sleeper. It is such a sweet sight to go in and see her snuggled so peacefully and comfortably in bed. I just love the sight of our children sleeping. It is just too precious!

Toddler Adoption, Attachment and Discipline

2009-09-27T13:47:00.004-04:00

I know that these two topics might seem a bit strange to talk about together but I think that the two are related. We faced these two topics together pretty quickly after bringing Abeba home and questioned what to do and how to handle it.

Abeba seemed to attach to us quickly. Attachment is a popular word in adoption circles and it seemed like all the training that we had prior to bringing home our daughter focused on this very topic. It is hard to completely understand until you experience it. I think that each child attaches in different ways and at different speeds. On "gottcha day" we realized that Abeba had a strong will. A VERY strong will! She had a lot of crying (screaming) fits, but at the same time she seemed to cling to me quickly. In fact, when we went back to the Gladney Care Centers to visit with the other Gladney families, Abeba showed herself in way that surprised us. We walked into the first care center (which happened to be the house she was in) and she pushed away the first care giver that came up to greet her. It wasn't a little push either, in fact almost a slap in the face. Abeba reacted to the next couple of caregivers the same way. I took Abeba outside and didn't take her back in. That set the tone for the rest of the day and it was not easy for us to deal with. We are thankful that the Lord gave us an extra dose of patience for that day, we needed it. Her reaction was surprising to us, but it made us realize quickly that she was bonding with us. Abeba needed one on one treatment and attention.

The next weeks we saw in Abeba signs of bonding. She wanted us to hold her when she felt insecure (mostly when we were out in public) and she wouldn't let anyone else hold her. When I fed her a bottle she began to hold my hand, play with my hair and would occasionally look into my eyes deeply. She said, "Daddy!" when Justin came home from work, this was thrilling to experience and see.

About a month went by and Abeba began to feel more comfortable. She started to show her sinful nature and we started wondering just when we should start to correct her. Don't get me wrong, we started introducing "no" pretty quickly, but bigger things started and we knew that we had to do correct her quickly. She was a biter and a smacker and she knew exactly how to do it effectively! She started throwing two year old tantrums, screaming until she got her way. That strong will began to show itself in a big way. Now what do we do? We didn't remember reading or learning about this in the training videos though we knew one sure place to go. That place was our favorite child rearing book, the Bible. Proverbs is full of instruction for parents, Ephesians too. We just couldn't find a clause that gave our adopted children an exception to these instructions. We knew what God had instructed us to do- "to discipline our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6) We are God's adopted children and he disciplines us, so that is what we decided, after much prayer, to do. We began to discipline our newest daughter in a God pleasing, age appropriate manner. We started slow making sure she knew the rules and what was and is acceptable.

We worried about what this would do to our bond since we had only been home a month.

Did she get mad at us? Sure. So does our 5 year old. The anger didn't last long though.

We began to see a change in Abeba. A change for the good and our bond still continued to grow.

It has been 9 months since Abeba came home. She has grown to love us and our immediate family. She has friends that she calls by name and gives hugs and kisses to us on her own. She knows love even during "instruction time". I am thankful that God guided us through this season of our life. This time was difficult and hard, but we are called as Christians to do hard things. Looking back on this, it was a joy and we would endure it all again.

Proverbs 23:13-16 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when you lips speak what is right."

Adopting a Toddler, Part 1

2009-09-22T12:54:00.004-04:00

I can't believe that we are approaching our one year anniversary of our Referral Day. It has almost been one year since we saw our sweet Abeba's face for the first time and were actually able to put a name to the prayers that were being said on our daughter's behalf. It has been a precious year. We have gone through so many different stages of an adoption and that will be my topic of discussion for the next several posts.

I remember longing for and reading any information I could get a hold of while we were preparing to bring Abeba home. I guess it is now my turn to inform others and try to help them. It is certainly my pleasure to do this as we want to help and encourage people pursuing adoption. Justin and I like to be transparent, not hiding our experiences and things that we have learned through life's journeys. This will be no different!

Adopting Toddlers and Feeding them...

Food was something I thought would be pretty easy with adopting a toddler. I was not prepared for the many transitions that we went through at the dinner table. When we first got Abeba she was basically on a bottle only for nutrition. She was drinking powdered whole milk at the Gladney Care Center. They said that she was on some cereal as well. We took a can of toddler formula with us to Ethiopia, but I did not bring enough. I didn't know that we would go through so many bottles. She used the bottle not only to fill her tummy but also for comfort. I was able to get her to eat some puffs and some cereal (rice flavored with a little pureed fruit) while in Ethiopia, but I kept that to a limit. I began to realize that her little system was not used to the typical food that an 18 mos old would typically consume. I began to back off of anything new and kept her on bananas, rice cereal, and puffs until we got home in the states.

Once we returned home to the states, I started feeding her bland foods and introduced them slowly. The first week I began to mix her formula with whole milk in different proportions. By the end of the second week she was completely on whole milk. For solids, I started with sweet potatoes, bananas, applesauce, peaches and squash. She seemed to love veggies and fruit best and would not touch white potatoes or bread. I would introduce new foods every couple of days making sure that nothing was upsetting her gut too much. Slowly, she began to eat foods in chunks and started eating meat. We let her go at her pace, but we tried to encourage her to try new things, but milk was still her favorite main course.

After about 3 mos. Abeba started getting picky on us. She was on table food by this time .She began to not like the foods that she liked at first. She found she preferred that junky American food....chips and the like! What happened???? I was afraid she would not return to the healthy stuff I had introduced her to. We began to have tears at the table on certain days. That "I want it my way" kind of attitude showed through, but we stuck it out and she eventually figured out that she could not eat just chips for a meal. Thankfully, this was a short lived stage! We kept putting the veggies on her plate hoping that she would go back willingly. She did, thankfully!

Over the past month, Abeba has really shown interest in a variety of different foods. We still have to encourage her to try new new things and she usually likes it once she tries it. She is still not a big fan of wheat or white bread and still will not touch white potatoes. She likes some sweets especially if it has fruit in it and she still loves candy and chips, but if you don't have it in the house often, she can't eat it often!! I still have kept her away from pop. Why start that bad, teeth rotting stuff??? She still prefers milk, but I don't offer it to her as much. She drinks about 30 ozs of 2% milk a day now, and she still downs it quickly before she touches any food on her plate. I suppose it will be like that for quite a while.

We are thankful that the food obstacles were not too big of a hurdle. It just took a lot of time to introduce things and teach good habits. She has learned a lot and so have we!

To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool...

2009-09-15T13:12:00.006-04:00

Lately, Justin and I have had many opportunities to express our thoughts and reasons for homeschooling our children. I thought perhaps this would be a great blog conversation also, but warning it can be a bit controversial!

When Justin and I first became parents, people in our church began to ask if we would be homeschooling our child. First thoughts, "Gee, that is a long time off, why worry about that now?" Well, we began to realize just how quickly our Hannah would be kindergarten age, and so we began to be open to the conversation and began pondering the idea. Our first thoughts of homeschooling was the social issue of it. How would our child(ren) be socialized? How would they learn how to function in society? Our immediate thoughts were that homeschooling would NOT provide this. We were wrong.

Justin had a conversation with a dear friend who turned the question to "Think about the socializing that your child will get in public school. Is that what you want to expose your children at such a young age?"

That got us thinking.

God began changing our hearts about this topic. We were convicted of the many verses in the Bible instructing parents to teach your children. We don't think that this stops when it comes to teaching math, english, history and such and so we decided to home school our children.

Now, do we think that the public schools are terrible places for kids to be? No. We know some great teachers in the public school system. It can be a great mission field for christian teachers and administrators. Unfortunately, there are things in the public schools that , I think, children should not be exposed to at such a young age. I am constantly amazed at some of the topics that I hear are being discussed in the classroom by people we as parents do not know well. Frankly, some of these things should be taught in the home by the parents and not in the schools. This is when I find myself thankful that our children are not in the school system. I just don't think that children need to be exposed to some of these topics at such a young age.

Homeschooling is not easy, but you can certainly see the fruit of your labor. This can be found in the simplest thing such as your 5 year old successfully writing his name to your 12 year old finally understanding simple algebra. Home schooling is academics but it is also about teaching your children life's lessons. Homeschooling takes work, but it is certainly worth it.

Back to the social issue....I am so thankful that God opened our eyes to the need to school our children at home. A child does not need public school to teach him or her to function in society or to know how to get along with people or how to make friends. I see this in our two older children. Hannah,12, and Eli,10, are a great example of this ( I think, but I am partial :) ). Hannah and Eli both went to church camp not knowing one camper and both came home with new friends. Hannah is growing into such a young lady who knows how to dress modestly, can speak w/out profanity and is not obsessed with the latest trends of her peers. Eli is such a gentleman. He opens doors for ladies in stores and knows how to act in public. I believe that having the opportunity to have our kids in our home has given us the chance to teach these things and has helped our children not to be consumed with the worldly things that is found in public schools.

We are thankful that God has given us the chance to school our children. I know that homeschooling is not for everyone, but I wish that more would give it a try. It is a great opportunity to be with your kids, to teach them not only how to read and write, but also to teach them God's word and the truths it contains. By God's grace they will take that with them everywhere they go and will apply it to their lives. I believe that is that greatest thing we, as believers in Jesus Christ and parents, can do for our kids.

5 Little Cuties Sitting on a Bench...One fell off and...

2009-09-03T12:39:00.012-04:00

Last weekend our Ethiopian Adopt Group from the Lafayette area got together for a picnic. Unfortunately, we had to postpone our get together one day because of rain, so that meant several families were not able to come. We hated to postpone, but rain and picnics don't go together very well! We were excited to meet some of our newest additions to the group; altogether there were 5 kids from Ethiopia home with their new families. It was a joy to see the families united. Here are some pictures of the event.

What a sweet picture! Unfortunately, one of these little fellows fell off and bumped his head right after the picture was taken. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt too badly!

We are all so blessed to have such a large group of families in our area that have (or are in the process of adopting) from Ethiopia. God has brought so many special people (now friends) into our lives through of our adoption of Abeba. I am thankful to God that He laid it upon our hearts to adopt for several reasons One of these reasons is the wonderful people he has brought into our lives.

Happy Birthday to the wife of my youth.

2009-09-03T08:10:00.004-04:00

Happy Birthday to the wife of my youth. She's just as radiant as she was when I first met her. Some things have changed though; she has grown in wisdom, love, patience, sanctification, joy, number of children, children taught, responsibilities, friends, meals cooked, dishes washed, goodies canned, flowers planted, hugs and kisses given.......
and she has done it all with grace and beauty.

She is reverent in behavior, loves her husband and children, self controlled, pure, works at home, kind, submissive to her husband, and does not cause the Word of God to be reviled. Sound like a Titus 2 woman? Yes she is!!

But wait, there's more....

Her eyes are like doves behind her veil.
Her hair is like a flock of Goats leaping down Carrollton Hill.
Her teeth are like shorn ewes that have come from the washing.
Her lips are like scarlet thread and her mouth is lovely.
Her cheeks are like the halves of pomegranate.

You are all together beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you!!

Happy Birthday!!

Mini Vacation

2009-08-23T16:42:00.013-04:00

This weekend our family was able to get away to spend sometime together. We had a great time Friday visiting the Indiana State Fair and seeing our newest family member, Dawsyn. On Saturday we went to the Indianapolis Zoo compliments of my moms employer, Cargill, Inc. We even got to spend some time with my sister and two of her children and with my mom. Here are some pictures from the weekend.Eli with his Weather Poster. He got a Blue and a Special Merit!!

Trying their hands at "fishing"

Hannah was chosen by one of my entomology Professors from Purdue to hold a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach at a demonstration. She didn't even flinch!

This one is for you, Papaw Baker!

Abeba on the way back to the car....she had quite the day!

Eli and our new nephew, Dawsyn. What a sweetie!

Abeba and her cousin Syndney

Abeba liked the jellyfish.

Israel loved his pony ride.

Start of School

2009-08-17T19:43:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged for a week because we are in the midst of starting school. It always takes a week or so to get everyone accustomed to the new schedule. I was curious to see how Abeba would react to all her siblings sitting at the table consumed with book work. She did great and joins in with coloring or playing with toys at the table.

This time of the year is difficult for me since school begins and canning is just getting into full swing for the summer. I have made a couple of batches of spaghetti sauce/salsa (great recipe, ask if you are interested!), juiced a bushel of tomatoes and canned some applesauce. All this makes for a busy day, but we will be glad we persevered (or should I say preserved!) through it this winter. I usually have two trees hanging to the ground with peaches, but because of the super cold winter this year we don't even have one peach! Bummer! I guess I should enjoy the break for this year.

Happy Birthday Abeba!!

2009-08-10T14:53:00.002-04:00

Today Abeba turns 2! This was the first birthday we have celebrated with her in our family. What a joy to share in it with the grandparents. What an amazing gift of God's goodness and grace, bringing her into our life.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One of God's Greatest Gifts

2009-08-07T21:53:00.003-04:00

This week has been out of the regular routine for the Darling family. First of all, we only have 5 people in the house, so things have been more quiet and there is one less at the table. Secondly, Justin has been working a different shift than he usually works because of a local festival with a carnival which always helps police officers stay a little more busy. Daddy has been home in the mornings and early afternoon which has been a change of pace. I enjoy that once in a while.

This morning I took great joy watching my dear husband play with our younger two children while I cleaned in the house. What a smile I had on my face and heart as I watched him sit in the play tent with the kids-joking around with them. I then found him jumping on the trampoline playing tag with them, and then they were off to the swing set. The two children were screaming with delight the whole time.

I must say our family is so blessed (in many ways) to have a great father. I reflected this morning on the fact that Justin is a true "Daddy". He loves his kids, loves to teach them God's word, loves to teach them in the milieu of life and treats his wife with royalty. In the Bible, Abba father means "Daddy". I look at Justin and know that he is a small reflection of what God our father is to us. Only certain fathers can truly fit the meaning of Daddy. I am grateful that I have one of those men in my life and in each of our children's lives. God is so good all the time and I think that he went above and beyond when he gave Justin to me. For that I am so thankful!

Country Girl

2009-08-06T10:01:00.006-04:00

Abeba loves living in the country. She has a love for tractors, wide open spaces and animals (except dogs!). Our children always look forward each summer to our neighboring farmer to move his cattle to the pasture adjacent to our property. The cows (or horses as Abeba calls them) are friendly and come right to the fence for an apple or other treat. The kids get a kick out of doing this. Here are a few pictures of Abeba's first meeting with the cattle:

Israel trying to coax a cow with a treat...

Something to Think About....

2009-08-03T15:18:00.003-04:00

Today finds me with lots of thoughts, too many to mention. I thought I would at least share these today.

This morning I took Eli to church camp, for the first time. There is something about leaving your child for a whole week for the first time. He is 10 years old, quite capable of going to camp and I still found myself with a pit in the bottom of my stomach as I drove away, hoping and praying that Eli will have a good time and make new friends. I guess this was hard because it is the first time away for Eli for a whole week under the care of a camp. Justin reminded me that we just flew half way across the world for a whole week and left the kids behind. That was hard too, but we left them with family and super good friends. Different than camp I guess. I will definitely miss Eli, but know that this time will be profitable for the both of us :)

On the way to camp I was listening to Moody. I enjoy the messages and the music on this station and this morning's message especially caught my ear. It was about adoption and how the church and Christians need to be involved in the care of orphans. Of course, this topic is near and dear to our hearts with just adding Abeba to our family through the blessing of adoption. This man did a fabulous job of exhorting us to care for the orphan, to come near to them and love them just as Christ has adopted us and loved us. He reminded us that we as believers have been adopted into a family, a family of God. What an Awesome topic....

Adoption is living out our faith as believers. I just pray that more believers will come to see this and put it to action. I know that not all families are "called" to adopt a child into their family, but why are not more of us at least helping? Have you pondered this? There are so many ways to help the fatherless. People can donate financially to groups that help adoptive families adopt, we can visit them, become involved in the child's life. Churches can help out orphanages.

I find myself wanting to do more. Our whole family does. I am thankful that God brought Abeba into our lives. He has taught me so much and caused me to become more dependant, humble and faithful. I know that I have so many more lessons to learn from this adoption journey, and I am grateful that God has used our adoption to draw me closer to HIM.

What more can we do to live out God's command from James 1:27..." Religion that God our father accepts as pure and fautless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their
distress...." ??? Just something to think about.....

More Zucchini Recipes....

2009-08-02T13:47:00.002-04:00

A friend just emailed me some new zucchini recipes. I am looking forward to trying these out; they sounds delicious! Thanks Tracy!!

Zucchini Fritters

3 large zucchini, grated (large)

1 egg, slightly beaten

1/2 cup bread crumbs

1/2 t Italian seasoning

1 t salt (more or less to taste)

1/4 c grated Italian cheese

1/4 c shredded cheddar

black pepper

Butter and oil combo for sauteing

Marinara or Ranch Dressing for dipping

Grate the zucchini, drain and squeeze out excess water. Beat one egg lightly, add Italian seasoning, salt, pepper and cheeses. Mix, add in drained zucchini. Make flattened 'pancakes' sauté until browned, about 3-4 minutes per side. Lightly salt when removed from pan. Serve with a side of marinara or ranch dressing.

Chocolate Zucchini Bread:

1 1/2 cups shredded raw zucchini (about 1/2 pound)

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted (not Dutch-processed)

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

1/2 cup safflower or canola oil

1/2 cup granulated white sugar

1/2 cup light brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

3/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chip or white chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and place rack in the center of the oven.Grease (or spray with a nonstick vegetable spray) a 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf pan.Set aside.

Grate the zucchini, using a medium sized grater.Set aside.

In a large bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, salt, ground cinnamon, and ground allspice.Set aside.

In the bowl of your electric mixer (or with a hand mixer), beat the oil, sugars, eggs, and vanilla extract until well blended (about 2 minutes).Fold in the grated zucchini. Add the flour mixture, beating just until combined.Then fold in the chocolate chips. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake until the bread has risen and atoothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 55 to 65 minutes. Place on a wire rack to cool for about 10 minutes, then remove the bread from the pan and cool completely.

Makes one - 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf.

Summer Squash Cornbread Casserole

Ingredients

2 cups cooked squash

1 small onion

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

1 egg (slightly beaten)

2 Tbls. butter

1 1/2 cups crumbled cornbread

Salt & Pepper to taste

Cooking Directions

Sauté onion in butter. (Allow to cool)

Mix together squash, cheese, and cornbread.

Add onion to cornbread mixture

Mix well and add egg

Season to taste

Pour into casserole dish sprayed w/ cooking spray Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until firm.

Abundance of Zucchini

2009-07-29T15:16:00.003-04:00

This year our garden has not done very well overall. Too wet early in the spring seems to not be beneficial to young garden plants. For the first time in many years though, our squash are doing VERY well! This afternoon I had 10 large zucchini in the refrigerator waiting for me to have time to mess with them. I have found some recipes that I thought I would share with you that will use up those large overgrown zucchini squash that you might have. I hope you like them as well as our family does.

This first recipe is my mom's. It hits the spot when you have a sweet craving and it has 2 different veggies in it, so that makes it healthy for you, right???

Zucchini Bars

2 cup sugar (I use about 1 1/2 cup for less sweetener)
1 cup oil (I have used applesauce, pretty good)
3 eggs
2 cup flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
2 tsp soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla

Mix this all together in a mixer until well mixed. Then Add 2 cup shredded zucchini (peeled or unpeeled) 1 small shredded carrot and 3/4 cup quick oats. Place in greased bar pan.

Bake at 350 until tests done.

When cooled ice with cream cheese or butter frosting. Makes about 3 doz. bars.

This is probably my favorite new recipe. It is so very delicious!! Worth the work...

Zucchini Enchiladas

Enchilada Sauce:
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. Flour
2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp cumin
15 oz. can tomato sauce
1/2 Tbsp. vinegar
dash pepper
dash hot sauce (opt.)
pinch of cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 chicken broth
seasoning salt to season
2 tsp. minced dried onion (I use fresh)

Heat oil in pot, cook garlic slightly. Add flour, stir to make paste and cook for 1 min. Add seasonings and heat for 30 sec. Add remaining ingredients. Bring to a simmer and cook for 20 min.

Enchilada Filling:

6 cup coarse shredded zucchini, very well drained (takes about 30 min to drain it)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 to 1 1/2 cup chopped onion
1 small green pepper ( I leave out and double the chilies)
1 can chopped green chilies
2 Tbsp. oil
12 oz shredded cheese ( mix and match to your preferences)
8 flour tortillas (I like corn ones better)

In a very large non-stick skillet, heat oil and saute onions, green pepper and garlic until onions turn clear. Add zucchini and chili and saute over high heat until the moisture has evaporated from the zucchini. Reduce heat and stir in cheeses to melt. Pour approximately 1/ 2 cup sauce in bottom of 9X13 glass oblong dish. Warm tortillas and fill each with filling placing in dish as you go. Place the remaining sauce over the top of filled tortillas. Cover with foil and bake at 375 for 15-20 min or until bubbly. You can top with spoonfuls of sour cream and more cheese if you like.

I hope that you enjoy these recipes. If you have any interesting uses for zucchini, please share them with me via email and I will post them! Email is mdarling_1972@yahoo.com

Awesome Job, Kids!

2009-07-28T13:53:00.006-04:00

This past weekend's play, Charlotte's Web went off without many hitches. It turned out to be a great play and the kids did a fabulous job- all of them! Our directors, Sara Brosman, Kayla Haley and Debbie Glenn did just a wonderful job working with the kids. Their creativity is superb!

I am hoping to get a clip or two added to the blog, but this technologically challenged gal is having trouble. Hopefully, my techy hubby will get it figured out for me and for you! Unfortunately, I did not take any still pictures. I did remember the video camera though....it seems I can't ever remember both!

Thanks to all of our friends and family who came to see the kids in the play. Some of you drove great distances to see it and for that we are grateful! The kids love having people they know out in the audience. It seems to motivate them even more to do a good job. The children did an awesome job, we are so proud of them!

This week is catch up week for me at home. We basically have been home to eat and sleep the past couple of weeks, so needless to say I need to get some much needed work done around home. It feels good to not be coming and going so much.

Hannah is at church camp this week. Hopefully, she will have a great week making new friends and will grow spiritually. Please pray for her this week that she will be spiritually fed. We certainly miss her!

Eli goes next week to camp. This will wrap up our summer and then school will begin. Where has the summer gone? They go faster each year!

Charlotte's Web

2009-07-21T13:57:00.006-04:00

Charlotte's Web
The Musical

July 25th at 7pm
July 26th at 3 pm

Delphi High School
Little Theatre
Delphi, IN

Starring Hannah Darling as Fern
Elijah Darling as Avery
Israel Darling as a Farmer and Chorus Member
About 40 other Great Kids to make the show complete!

Whirlwind

2009-07-17T08:35:00.013-04:00

The past 2 weeks have been jammed packed full of "bye byes" at the Darling home. We have had a birthday party, 4-H judging and fair, play practices, visit from family and we even did some canning and freezing for winter. Whew...we are a bit exhausted, but a slower weekend is on the way. Here are some pictures to catch you up.

Hannah won Senior Showmanship with her Rabbits. She went on to show Premier Showmanship where she had to show a goat, rabbit and a CHICKEN!! (not her favorite!)

Eli won Grand Champion with his Weather poster. He will get to take this project to the State Fair!

My younger sister, Sarah, turned 30 on the 10th of July. Our family met her and her family at BD's Mongolian BBQ in Indianapolis. We had a good time celebrating. Happy Birthday, Sis!

My goofy nephew showing his skills at chop stix

Hannah and her cousin, EmmaLee

My mom, sisters and myself- can you tell we might be related??? Love you guys!

Last Sunday our family did a presentation on Adoption and on our trip to ET. We all dressed in our traditional clothes from Ethiopia. Finally, a family picture where everyone is pleasant and looking forward!

Israel and Abeba sneaking in a tea party one afternoon.

Justin's parents, grandparents and nephew came for a quick visit to see the kids projects at the fair. It was good see them all.

Abeba and Jacob enjoyed playing together.

Answered Prayer - Marta and family !!

2009-07-14T21:23:00.003-04:00

We are rejoicing with the Gautschs, Marta is finally home!!!

Here is their post with pictures:

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

In the meantime......the Meet

Ok, I am jet lagged and getting over being sicker than I've ever been....Not to mention the re-entry and reconnecting with my dear, sorely missed boys and the beginning of a whole new weave in our family. So, no real post for a bit.

There is SO much to process and adjust and sort out. It's wonderful and strange all at the same time. Unexpected and indescribable and impossible to have guessed at all the things that come with adopting an older child, good, hard, surprising...the works. Either many posts coming or maybe not so many at all, we will feel our way through. For now we are keeping close in, finding our way to new normal....

Until then.....{Shelly, here you go}:

Beautiful Weather and Great Friends

2009-07-08T08:05:00.009-04:00

Our 5th of July party went off wonderfully! The weather was perfect for the occasion, 80 degrees and blue sky. We were very thankful for that. I believe that we had the largest crowd this year, possibly around 75 people! I think everyone had a great time of fellowship and the food was yummy. Everyone helped fill 4- 8foot tables full of food. If anyone went home hungry, it was their own fault :) ! Here a few pictures that Hannah and her friends snapped during the party:

Hannah and her great friend decided perhaps they should switch sisters for the evening. Little Megan and Abeba thought it was a great idea!

Hannah and her Patriotic Paintings (red, white and blue fingernail polishing)

On Monday, our good friends from Nebraska came in for the night. They used to live here locally, but now are in the ministry at a church in western Nebraska. We miss them a lot, but know that they are doing a good work where God has put them. We cherish any opportunity to see them. Thankfully, they have family in Ft. Wayne so sometimes we get to get in on those visits home. Thanks Dickmanders for stopping in. It was so good to visit even if it was for a short time.

Spare Time??

2009-07-04T13:31:00.008-04:00

This week has been jammed pack full of projects. The past 4 years our family has hosted a 4th of July party for our church family. We look forward to this each year, but the preparations start early. Hosting a big event like this inspires us to a home improvement project. Last year we just added the in ground trampoline along with the dirt moving that went along with it. This year we (possibly just me??) decided to redo the bathroom. This is one r00m we haven't touched with a paint brush since we moved in 9 years ago, yuk, it really needed it soon! Hannah and I decided that light blue with a dark brown accent would work beautifully. We love the outcome!

On Wednesday, Hannah kicked off 4-H judging week with her clothing project. She choses to do the Consumer clothing where she SHOPS instead of sewing!. She enjoys it. I really liked the outfit she chose this year. Does she not look too old????

Eli and Hannah both will have more projects to have judged this next week. I will keep you posted on the results.

All this is going on while play practice continues. It has been alot of running to town, but I know that all their hard work and dedication will pay off. This mornig the kids were in a walking "float" in our town's 4th of July parade. Thankfully, we got it in right before the rain began :( which is the reason is have some spare time. Our party will be a 5th of July party due to the all day rain here in Indiana. Bummer. Forecast says blue and sunny skies tomorrow afternoon. So, we have one more day to get ready, to scrub another corner and to anticipate fun with our church family.

Oh, many families we know are in the air as I type to pick up their children in Ethiopia. Please be praying for their safe arrival!!!

Marta - Coming Home !

2009-07-01T12:03:00.004-04:00

Justin here.
I just had to share the great news. Dear friends that we have had communications with since bringing Abeba home are finally bringing their daughter Marta home. You may remember us blogging about their difficulties here .
We were able to meet Marta when we traveled to Ethiopia to bring Abeba home. What a sweet girl she is, what a wonderful family she has, what a Great God we serve. All Glory to him!

Check out the blog post from the family about Marta coming home here:
http://anotherespressoplease.blogspot.com/2009/07/tolo-tolo-tolo.html

First Swim

2009-06-30T07:59:00.009-04:00

Yesterday we finally were able to get to my mom and step dad's home to swim. We have been running around doing 4-H projects and having play practice, so we haven't been able to get to the pool. Unfortunately, the temperature outside was a bit cool, but the water was about 84 degrees, so it felt like bath water. As long as you didn't get out of the water we were warm!

I was curious to see what Abeba would think of swimming. She was pretty unsure and went crying to the steps, but with some time she realized that this might be a little fun. She just sat on the steps of the pool and kicked her feet, but that is a start. I am sure it won't be long before she figures out the whole idea. She enjoyed the water until she slipped and went under for a split second- then we were done :) Our other "fish" enjoyed their first dip in the pool for the summer. Here are some pictures of the occasion:

A Gathering worth Waiting For!

2009-06-24T08:02:00.011-04:00

Last weekend our family was finally able to get together with our friends, the Whipples. They brought their son, Isaac home from Ethiopia in April and wow is he a cutie! We have met Isaac once before in Ethiopia when we were picking up Abeba. We had the privilege to take a package to the Whipples little one and hold him for them. What a neat experience that was. I have to say Isaac has grown a lot since that meeting. He is a happy and healthy little boy who loves his Mommy and Daddy. It was precious to see him.

Abeba and Isaac had a grand time together. It was fun seeing them interact with one another. Here are some pictures to enjoy.

Here are some pictures of Abeba's first experience of cooling off in this oppressive humid and hot Indiana weather. She was pretty reluctant of playing in the cold water. She was a bit happier with a bucket of water and sitting on the side lines!

Date Night!

2009-06-20T13:40:00.002-04:00

Last night Justin and I finally made it away for the first time since adding our 4th child! We had such a nice time celebrating our years together. We decided to go to an Indian Restaurant in West Lafayette. It was delicious...and I didn't have to cook! Yahoo! Indian Food reminds us somewhat of Ethiopian; they use some of the same spices. After that we went next door to a coffee house and got a drink to enjoy out on the patio. It was so relaxing. I believe I could have sat there for hours :)

We enjoyed each others company uninterrupted which was great too. We had some good chuckles too watching college age "kids", weren't we just in their shoes????

We then spent some time at the mall getting some special gifts for some special people. We wanted to send gifts to Wegaheyu, Zamet and her mother. I wish we would have thought about taking something for them when we went to stay at the Ayat house, but the thought didn't cross our minds at the time. We are hoping that CoffeeMom and CoffeeDoc will be able to take them with them in July when they travel to bring Marta home (keep praying for that dear friends). We got Wehaheyu a Purdue Unviversity T-shirt (since PU is local to us), Zamet a beautiful necklace (she looks fabulous in pink) and her mother a scarf. I just wish we could deliver them in person... They are certainly special people and will hold a special place in our hearts for a lifetime.

We spent about 3 1/2 hours together, oh it was too short, but enjoyed so much. We returned back to my mom and step dads to content kiddos. Abeba did great and really didn't seem to miss us. We walked in to her playing on the floor with a teddy bear and she looked up and said, "Hello" and went back to playing. It was good to know she did so well. She really seems to like her grandparents!

Tonight we have another special evening planned as a family. We are FINALLY going to go meet Mr. Isaac Whipple. They have been home since the first of April and it has been impossible to get together until now. I will be sure to post some pictures of that get together. We are certainly looking forward to it.

The love of my Life

2009-06-18T08:47:00.014-04:00

Fifteen years ago today I made a promise to this great guy. We promised each other a lifetime of love during the good times and the tough times. Looking back over time I know that all times have been good times. Of course we have had our share of hard times but God has used the harder times to strengthen our marriage and has used them to draw us closer to himself and to each other. Who would go back to change that? Our relationship and love for each other has certainly become stronger over the years.

I am so thankful that God has given me this man to spend a lifetime with. Justin just has to be the greatest husband there is. He is always there to lend a helping hand, to encourage, to correct and to lead our home in such a Godly way. God has certainly blessed our family with a great Daddy and an awesome helpmeet.

I guess I can say life with Justin has been pretty much a "piece of cake!"

AND......

Never a boring moment!!!!

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart! I thank God for the blessing and gift you have been in my life!

"My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.....he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this is my friend..." Song of Songs 5:10,16

Meeting night

2009-06-16T13:13:00.004-04:00

Last night I had the opportunity to speak about our adoption journey to a group of local women. I spoke at the Carroll County Republican Women's meeting. It was a great opportunity to show pictures of our trip to Ethiopia, talk about adoption and share how it has impacted our family. I don't consider myself a great public speaker, but I am certainly willing to talk about adoption in all most any setting, so I seized the chance and loved doing it. I hope I didn't speak too long, after questions and such, the presentation was about 45 min long! The time flew and everyone seemed very interested.

Justin has had some opportunities at the local Rotaries to speak and we are planning an evening at our church to share more in detail our pictures and thoughts. We are thankful for these times that God has given us to be a testimony of his love and grace in this aspect of our life. We believe that earthly adoption goes hand in hand with us being adopted as God's children- there are so many parallels.

I pray that last night God used my words to plant some seeds in the hearts of the women.

VBS, Garden Party and Picnic

2009-06-14T19:26:00.010-04:00

This past week was a busy week for ourselves and our church family. A week ago today we kicked off a week of VBS with the Cedarville University's Master Puppet Team. A group of 6 college kids came and shared their puppet ministry for Bible school. We only do VBS every few years and this was our year to do it and the kids loved it. It is a great way to do Bible school for our church especially since the college kids do the bulk of the preparations. The team did a fabulous job presenting the story of Christ's love. I just love sharing that story, don't you?

Abeba seemed to enjoy the singing and puppets somewhat. This really upset her schedule, but we managed. I had to switch out teaching the 3rd and 4th grade with the prek so I could be with her, but that was alright. She seemed to enjoy it more when mom was by her side.

Friday night we had the puppet team to our home to hang out and have dinner. It was fun being in a relaxing atmosphere with them and the kids thought it pretty special to have the puppeteers to their home. We ate and then spent about 2 hours sitting on the porch singing together hymns and choruses and even got out in the yard to dance around a bit doing motions to songs. I am grateful that we have no close neighbors so we can be as loud as we want :)

Saturday our ladies gathered for our annual garden party. We chose a lady's home (yard actually) to all join at and then we have girly food and have a short devotional. Everyone brings a plant start from their garden to share, a plant exchange we call it. We enjoyed ourselves very much! I always look forward to it.

Hannah enjoying one last time with the girl puppeteers

To top off the week we all joined at a local park today for our annual church picnic. I must say all of us ladies were pretty tired of cooking by today but we survived! It was a relaxing afternoon with the fellowship of God's people gathered around some good food!

Hopefully, this week I will be able to catch up on some things here. We are getting ready here at home for our big 4th of July party. That always takes a lot of preparation. It is always an exciting time here getting ready for that.

Drum Roll Please....

2009-06-04T12:57:00.002-04:00

We are excited and proud of our three oldest children. Yesterday, the public Library in our town announced the part assignments for this summer's production, Charlotte's Webb. We are pleased to say our oldest daughter landed the part of Fern, our 10 year old son, the part of Fern's brother and our youngest son is in the chorus and a farmer at the fair. I chuckled when I heard Eli had the part of Fern's annoying brother; I believe that part might come pretty easy for him :)

The production is in late July so we have a lot of practices ahead of us. I will be sure to keep pictures coming as the play develops.

TV News Segment

2009-06-02T13:42:00.004-04:00

Justin got this great video from a link on Facebook. It is a news segment about The Gladney Center for Adoption and about Ethiopia. It is a well done video by an adoptive family. Look very closely, there might be a familiar face in the background of one of the pictures.

Video Link

Never Boring...

2009-06-01T19:57:00.003-04:00

We have found that being a family of 6 is never quiet or boring. Today is no exception. This evening I was home alone with the kids because Justin was at his monthly meeting. We ate a relaxing and early dinner- Ahh, that was nice! As I started clearing up the dishes, the weather alert alarm went off saying that we had a nice size thunderstorm headed our way. I went to the TV to check out the radar and golf ball to baseball size hail was a possibility. Not good. The camper was still set up waiting for me to unpack from last weekend. Okay, so I scrambled outside with the 10year son and started to take that down in a speedy fashion. That was done. I went inside and the kids started to battan down the hatches in the house, shutting windows and such for me while I went to change a very soggy looking diaper. Little did I know that that diaper was more than wet. I carried Abeba to the bathroom unknowing what was following me. I laid her down and realized that she had runny poo dripping down her leg. Ack! I then noticed it was running down my clothes. Hannah then hollered, "Mom, there is poop on the floor!" What fun! Of course, while all this is going on the storm has approached. It is raining with force so much that I couldn't see out the window. The wind started kicking up and then weather alert #2 happened: Tornado Warning for the adjacent county. I stripped off Abeba, cleaned her and myself up best I could in a hurry and yelled to the kids to head to the basement. Abeba went only in a diaper. After a few minutes, things began to calm down. Thankfully!

All is well and calm for now. I am thankful again for the Lord's protection and the small ways he teaches us patience.

25 Cent Lesson

2009-05-29T08:43:00.004-04:00

This week our family went to a local amusement park, Indiana Beach. We had a good time inspite of the rain. Abeba really didn't care for the whole deal. She was tired from the camping weekend and just didn't like the crowd. I find myself getting frustrated with this at times, but Justin reminds me that this will take time. We have come leaps and bounds since January, but this might take years to conquer.

Anyway, the 25 cent lesson...later in the evening after we all had collapsed from the busy weekend, our 5 year old brought a quarter to us. He said, "Here, I got this out of wishing well at Indiana Beach." A lesson on taking what is not yours followed. Justin explained how God does not want us to steal. Israel was very sorry for what he did, but the lesson here was not finished. Justin and I decided that the quarter needed to go back. We wanted him to realize that Indiana Beach was the owner of that quarter and in fact he had stolen the quarter. So, yesterday we drove back to the park and had him apologize for what he had done. Some have said to me, "It is just a quarter!" Yes I said but it is the principle of it. Hopefully, he now knows not to take what is not his.

I am thankful that God gives us teaching opportunities like this to teach our children his Word.

Memorial Camping 2009

2009-05-29T08:18:00.011-04:00

Again this year we joined some of our church family at a local campground for a Memorial Day Camp out. We were so excited to bring Abeba on her first camping trip. She loved it! We all had a lovely time with our dear friends. It was so relaxing!

Abeba loved waking up in the camper and being able to see her friends and outdoors. She awoke each morning singing herself a little song, staring out the window. Waking up is usually not her best of times, so it was refreshing to have her in such good mood right away. I learned to not open my eyes as soon as she awoke because as soon as I did she would get in my face and say, "Outside!". What a memory!

Below is some pictures of our time together:

Our pastor trying to bribe Abeba onto his lap. It finally worked...with a lot of honey wheat pretzels!

Our kids had been wanting to learn Double Dutch Jumping after watching Jump In the movie. I think the kids and adults all had a good time with the jump ropes I brought. I was really proud of their perseverance!!

One pooped out little girl!

Israel and his buddy, Justin

Hannah and her friend, Maggie

Eli spent most of his time on his bike riding with his friends

To the Top!

2009-05-20T22:16:00.004-04:00

I just read a blog posted by Coffeemom. It is another beautiful letter written by a desperate mom, pleading for help and longing to get her daughter, Marta, home. This sweetheart is stuck in Ethiopia, without her parents.

Coffeemom has decided to try to get her plea to the top. She has written a beautiful letter to Mrs. Obama, First Lady of United States. It is a wonderful letter from a mom, to a mom.

Do you happen to know people in high places within our government? Do you know someone else who might know a person who could make a difference here? Coffeemom is trying to get this letter to the White House via cyberspace. Can we help her?

If you think you might be able to help with this wish, please visit Coffeemom's blog and send it on.

Thank you blog friends and keep praying Marta home!

Sweet Surprise!

2009-05-18T21:48:00.009-04:00

Justin got the mail this morning and found a small package from our agency, The Gladney Center. We were excited to see that it was a CD just labeled "Abeba Darling". Hummmm... what could it be? We got the computer out and out of sight of Abeba (I'll explain this later) to find that it was precious pictures of our Abeba while in Ethiopia. I think this first picture must have been taken the day she went into Gladney's care from Kebetsahey. These are so sweet. It is just another small glimpse into her life before we knew and saw her for the first time. She looks so small and meek..I love this picture. How sweet is this face?

We just thought they were great and were so thankful to have them. We appreciate Gladney sharing them with us. Just one more thing that we are so impressed with Gladney by!

So, an explanation on why Abeba could not see these photos. We have found that seeing pictures from Ethiopia really bother Abeba, so much, she seems to wake up screaming on the nights we look at them. We can't explain this. Who knows what happened in this sweet little girl's young life? Something has caused some trauma (of course the adoption transition for a toddler can be this anyway!) in her past. I wish I knew. I probably never will. But in the meantime, we are trying to shelter her from seeing pictures that might remind her of her past. Someday, we look forward to talking with her about her heritage and our journey to bring her to our family, but for now, we will help her with looking at the present with bright hopes for the future.

Misc. Stuff

2009-05-18T21:18:00.010-04:00

This weekend we found ourselves attending a Reunion of the McGinnis Family. Unfortunately, my sweet hubby could not go visit his family (his mom is a McGinnis) that came in from across the U.S. He was tied up with work. We had family in from CA, GA, MI and of course all the locals from here in Indiana. We had a great time visiting with everyone. All were glad to finally meet our newest addition to our family, Abeba. I wasn't sure how it would go for Abeba, but it went beautifully. This was our first overnighter away from our home since we brought Abeba home. We really wanted to make sure that she was secure, comfortable and knew her home well before we ventured out to a different crib. She slept great, I was thankful since Justin wasn't around for support :)

We also spent some time with my siblings and nieces which was fun too. Not long enough, but never the less sweet. I was also able to finally introduce Abeba to my Dad though it had to be at his work place so that was short as well.

Here are some pictures of the event:

Justin's Mom and His Sister's Boy, Jacob

Abeba and her Papaw (Justin's Dad)

Justin's Family: We are all wearing masks not for Swine Flu, but because Justin's Uncle Roy is going through Chemo and Radiation for Lung Cancer, please pray for him. Aunt Cathy thought it would be fun to add some "lips" !

The McGinnis Family

Justin's Uncle Roy, Aunt Catherine, Aunt Carmelle and Justin's Mom, seated is Justin's Grandpa McGinnis

Abeba and Sydney found some water to play in, they both needed dry clothes after this!

Look what I found today! I was loading the kids in the van to go into town, I bent down to pick up something and this sweet little hummingbird was lying on the driveway. I believe the poor thing wacked into the window and was stunned. I picked it up and placed it on our feeder in hopes the cats would not reach him there. We came home and she was gone, I just hope she flew away fully recovered. I don't imagine I will hold a hummingbird like this very often!

Another call to action and prayer for Marta.

2009-05-14T12:24:00.003-04:00

A few days ago I shared a post and letter from the Gautschs'. They have a daughter (Marta) in Ethiopia that they are desperately trying to bring home. The have been ensnared in a bureaucratic entanglement of unbelievable proportions. It amounts to selective enforcement of a vague medical guideline. The letter is from Tom, who happens to be an M.D. Please share the post and letter with as many people as you can. Share it with your Senator, Congressman, anyone that you think can make a difference. Pray diligently and fervently for Marta to be home and for perseverance and peace for the whole family. We had the privilege of meeting Marta when we went to bring home Abeba and our hear aches that she is not with her family yet.

Dads United. Coffeedad's letter

This post is from Coffeedad. It's his turn. This letter is his, the dad side of things, and from his perspective as a Father, and also as a physician.

This letter is an open letter to anyone who has a heart to hear us and also wants to know why we are pushing so hard.
Why don't we just quit and accept that we have to wait?
Stop being so pushy already...sheesh. Right???
NO.
We are advocating for our daughter to come home because she needs to be home, because we love her, because it is right to allow her to travel to join her family.
We are advocating for this protocol to change in it's application to adopted children because to apply it to adopted children, especially those who have already completed treatment for TB and/or who are HIV+ is, simply, wrong.

So we won't quit.
We will fight for our child.
We will fight for these children.
Here is Tom's letter. Please read it. Please forward it, along with mine, to anyone who might hear or listen or get it to anyone who can.
Thank you!

To Whom it May Concern:

This is a picture of my beautiful daughter, Marta, above.

My wife Michele and I have recently become the parents of my new 12 year old daughter Marta. Marta is Ethiopian, and sadly left orphaned by the ravages of AIDS in her country. Without any family, she was taken into an Ethiopian government run orphanage in Addis Ababa. Somehow in her young life, she also contracted tuberculosis for which she has recently completed eight months of standard tuberculosis treatment, with thankfully good response and several follow up sputum smear tests, all of which were negative. On March 31 of this year her adoption was finalized and we legally became her parents. Both Michele and I are United States citizens. Had our adoption become finalized just one month earlier Marta would be home with us now and I wouldn’t be soliciting your help.

The day before we were to travel to Addis to pick her up and bring her home we were notified by the Embassy through our agency that she would not be cleared to travel for a minimum of two additional months, and perhaps longer, due to very recently implemented new CDC Technical Instructions for the Screening of Immigrants. This new protocol requires negative sputum cultures in anyone with any suspicion or history of tuberculosis, without any regard whatsoever to whether it was known or unknown, treated or untreated, successfully or unsuccessfully.

This very burdensome and overly stringent requirement has been implemented only by the US and only piecemeal, in regard to some countries, despite the fact that the CDC and World Health Organization as well as the American Thoracic Society and the Infectious Diseases Society of America all individually or in collaboration have reported that:

“patients with drug susceptible pulmonary and other forms of infectious tuberculosis rapidly become noninfectious after institution of effective multiple drug chemotherapy” – A.T.S., CDC, I.D.S.A.

“after 14-21 days of treatment, infectiousness averages less than 1% of the pretreatment level” -- A.T.S., CDC, I.D.S.A.

“as yet no case of clinical or bacteriologically confirmed tuberculosis disease associated with exposure during air travel has been identified”
-- W.H.O

“the overall public health importance of such events [potential transmission of tuberculosis during air travel] is negligible” -- A.T.S., CDC, I.D.S.A.

Three weeks before our scheduled Embassy Visa appointment for her, the CDC implemented their new guidelines in Ethiopia and a few other countries only. If Marta were from China, India or Russia or any one of a hundred other countries, her negative sputum smears would be sufficient for the CDC, and the State Department would issue her Visa and allow her to travel. What is more, if we had given birth to her while living in Addis Ababa and she was now coming back to the United States with us for the first time, she would not be subject to any kind of screening at all. If she was coming on a student Visa, a work Visa, a visitor’s Visa, a diplomat’s Visa or any one of 50 other Visas she would be here now and also subject to no screening.

The injustice of this situation is compounded not only by the very questionable medical basis for subjecting her to it in the first place, when virtually every one of the other 300 plus passengers on any flight here from Addis Ababa is not subjected to any kind of medical screening and statistically at least one of them or more will have active tuberculosis, and dozens are likely infected, but the situation is further worsened by the Embassy’s false assertion that no one there has the authority to waive her CDC required two month long sputum culture test for any reason and the CDC’s Department of Quarantine assertions that no one there has the authority to direct the Embassy to waive the requirement since the CDC is only advisory to the State Department.

I had a long conversation this week with one of the head doctor in the Atlanta Office of the CDC Division of Quarantine who could not refute any of my above assertions, acknowledged the inconsistency with which this screening algorithm was being applied and even that the legally adopted minor child of US citizens was a very different “immigrant” than the general immigrant population for whom the Technical Instructions were written. Nevertheless, he also told me that they would not waive the testing requirement for Marta or anyone else and that they would also not process our I-601 medical waiver “for persons with Class A or suspected tuberculosis” on the technicality that until the two month test was over, her medical evaluation was still incomplete. If after the two months that the test takes, it came back positive, then we could use the waiver. This loop invalidates the use of this waiver; it negates it's use.

My request for your help is two fold. First, please help us get this test waived by whoever has that authority and get my Marta, child of US citizens, home now. Second, please realize that many, many other families who have or are in the process of adopting orphans are caught in the same net since all children with positive HIV tests are also subjected to it and that an ultimate solution is to recognize these legally adopted children of US citizens, as “US citizens” when the adoption is finalized not after they have come to US soil.

I can supply copious medical documentation of the marginal impact of this sputum culture requirement on the importation of tuberculosis and the negligible or non-existent risks of infectiousness to travelers and our citizenry for persons who have received or are receiving treatment for tuberculosis and have negative sputum smear tests.

Please consider this letter with a mind to what is right and decent, and with the medical data supporting our case. If you are a father, please consider if this was your child and what you would do. Please help us bring our daughter home and change this policy for adopted children, our children.

Sincerely,
Thomas L Gautsch, MD
tlgautsch@comcast.net

A Call to Action, Prayer.

2009-05-11T09:37:00.003-04:00

The following post is from a friend of ours. We call her a friend because of the connection that we have made in the past few months. We had the blessing to meet their daughter, Marta while we were in Ethiopia to bring home Abeba. We spent some time with Marta, gave her some hugs and some necklaces to share with her friends and told her how much her family loved her. She is a dear sweet girl, a dear sweet girl who desperately needs to be with her family. Yet, she is caught up in a bureaucratic entanglement that should not be happening. Please read the post and the letter, pass it on, post it on your own blog, on your Facebook, in the town square, send it to your Congressman, wherever or to whomever you think might be able to make an impact and get Marta home. It's not just Marta, but many other children that are caught in the same bureaucratic web...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mothers connected united

It's Mother's Day. And I'm missing my daughter.

So, I'm stewing and reaching further and further the only way I can in my effort to bring my girl home. I'm sending this out to the world of moms, a plea that is relying on our connectedness, our unity as moms.

You see, you all know that we are having a hard time getting the right person to hear us. To HEAR us, see us, really look at this as a real live girl who is stuck away from her family, her mom....

And so today my mind is spinning..who can help people be heard? Who gets heard and seen? If Oprah Winfrey had a daughter stuck in this, would she be heard? Would Hilary Clinton be heard? Would Michelle Obama? Do you have to be a major world leader or celebrity to be heard or seen?

I don't know....but I do know the power of connection.
I know the power of women to reach out to each other.
I know the amazing surprising connectedness of the blogosphere.

So, I'm taking a giant step. I'm posting this letter. It is a letter that was sent to join with other stories of the human cost of this policy. It's about us. It's about what this means to my family. This letter IS about us, our family, our daughter. However, this policy will snare other families, it already has and it will more. This policy has to change. So this letter is for the families coming behind us too.

And if you know anyone who might be able to hear and see this and make a difference, or just plain care....to try, to pray, to help - us or the next family snared by this..then please, pass it on.
Because we are united, we moms, I think...in wanting our children to be with us, safe, happy, ok. We want all the kids to be home, to find a home.
To come home.
That's what we moms do....every day.

It's long...but it's real. It's not meant to be along whining rant: it's an attempt to show the layers of personal cost. Thank you for indulging a mom who will do whatever it takes to get her daughter home safe, now.

To whom it may concern:

We have a daughter in Africa, an AIDS orphan . . . placed in limbo by our own government. We are Tom and Michele Gautsch, we live in Tennessee. Tom is an Orthopedic Surgeon and Michele is a full time mom. We have a total of eight children now that we have adopted Marta (12 yrs old) in Ethiopia. Three of our children are biological and now five are adopted, three from the U.S. and two from Ethiopia.

We are very, very anxious to unite our family. We had the unfortunate timing of our court date being scheduled just behind the new TB screening regulations and we have been stopped in our effort to go and bring home our daughter, Marta, from Ethiopia.

We passed court successfully March 31, 2009, after just short of a year of work in the extensive adoption process. According to the Ethiopian government, Marta is our daughter in all ways, most certainly, legally. We know she is our daughter not only legally, but spiritually, morally, ethically - in all ways, she is our daughter. However, on March 23, 2009, the U.S. CDC began phasing in new TB SCREENING requirements, and it is the rigid interpretation of this protocol which is preventing us from bringing our daughter home, for at least two more months and possibly many more. Marta is a post tb patient, however her tb left a scar on her lungs, and thus on her chest xray. It will never be normal. The rigid application of this screening protocol doesn't allow the panel physician to clear Marta to travel, even though she has a known tb status: post treatment. This protocol was for screening unknown tb status. Our Marta's status is documented: adequate treatment, successfully completed.

The screening that Marta is being delayed for has never been proven to effectively reduce the rates of tuberculosis in the immigrant population. In fact, the vast majority of first world countries don't do this screening at all, and the ones that do, screen the immigrants after they arrive in the country. If we were British, or French, or Norwegian, Marta would be home with us, right now. The CDC has arbitrarily decided to implement this policy in only twenty countries. There are seven countries with a higher endemic incidence of TB than Ethiopia, where the CDC does not require screening with TB cultures. If Marta was from China or India, both countries with ten times more TB prevalence than the U.S., she'd be home right now.

Our family was supposed to travel Saturday, April 25th to Addis Ababa to meet our daughter again and bring her home. We had an Embassy appointment for our visa scheduled on April 29th. On Friday afternoon, April 24th, the day before we were to travel, we were called by our agency and told not to come. This news, to say the least, was devastating. We had spent the past many weeks organizing and preparing for our trip. We had to make arrangements for the younger children to have a good caregiver in our home, plus of course prepare them for our time away. We had been gathering and organizing and packing our donations and humanitarian aid for many weeks. Thomas, the dad, had to make extensive arrangements to be away from his solo surgical practice, schedule patients for surgery around his planned trip in order to maximize their care as well. By Friday we were packed and ready to go, the excitement at the house was at a peak for all...until that call came. Then it all came crashing down.

In disbelief, Tom started manning the phones, trying to find a way, any way to talk to someone about this. Michele was simply devastated, crying, trying to console the kids while her heart was breaking. Tom spent until almost four a.m. researching the protocols, the actual risks of a post TB patient and learning the data on TB in immigrants in the US and around the world. He spoke with contacts at the CDC, as far away as Kenya, and everyone said, "This is silly, she should be able to travel, she's post treatment." So, until sometime after 4 a.m., the morning of the 25th, (we had to leave by 5:30 a.m.), we hoped to still make our flights and go meet our girl. However, we hit a wall of bureaucracy and were told, again, in the early hours of that morning, "don't come."

And so we did not go. Full stop. We have been wracked with worry over our daughter and depression over the situation. This manifests physically, in all the normal ways. It is hard to not be depressed, it is hard to kick back into the regular cheerful routines of a busy family life.

On a practical, material level, this has also had a tremendous cost. For Tom, he lost a week of work. When you schedule 10 days out of a solo surgical practice, it is not a simple matter to just fill your work schedule back up on the spur of the moment. You lose the days and the income that would have been generated. In fact, you continue to pay the normal operating expenses, but are not, literally, operating. This would have been a planned financial cost. But now, having to plan for an entire new trip, we will have to incur it twice. That is a very significant, large, financial burden. Our plane tickets, six of them, had to be refunded, with penalties for cancellation and changes. Many other summer plans have had to be reworked and still have not been able to be figured out; this delay affects our children and extended families and their plans - put on hold - as well. Our bags of humanitarian aid remain stacked in our foyer. Our suitcases with personal clothes have been unpacked, but our smallest children still ask when we are going, confused.

For Marta's health, she needs to come home and have adequate nutrition, safe surroundings and the love of a family to help her heal from the many traumas she has experienced in her life. Staying in an orphanage, half a world away from her parents and family, does nothing to help heal the heart and body of this child, our daughter. Even several months away from her family makes a difference to a child, especially one this age and with her life experiences.

The hardest part, perhaps, for our hearts as parents, is Marta's experience. Marta is not a toddler or infant. She is an older child. She is twelve. So she has awareness of what is going on, but is not yet old enough to fully understand the details. Any older orphan, in particular, is going to really wonder if it could possibly be true: "do they really have a family? For real? Is it really going to happen?" Because to an orphan, one who has already lost both her parents and everything she ever had, ANYTHING can happen and NOTHING is forever or for sure. And this is what our Marta now has experienced: she wondered if we were really coming...they said we were. But - we didn't show. And that was explained to her, they said, and they tried to make her understand the delays and that we would come as soon as we could. However, even if her head can hear and understand a bit of the explanation, what is imprinted on her psyche and her heart is the confirmation of her deepest fear: we didn't show. Period. And that will have a long term cost to this young girl, and our family, that you can't measure in computer data.

The CDC cannot measure the scar that is left by this. They can quantify the scar left on her lungs by the TB. But they cannot, nor do they care to, measure the scar left by this unwarranted delay. We can, we will live with it and try to help her over it. But this didn't have to happen.

This can be changed with a simple decision to see Marta as an individual, as a patient if you like, but best, as a child. Marta is not a random immigrant who will vanish into the unknown masses in our country. She will not drain the country's resources, nor will she be a risk to the health of the greater population. She is our child. She is coming into a family where her dad is a doctor. We had to prove we were willing and able to care of her, to the fullest extent, in every way and document this with Homeland Security, even before we were allowed to proceed with the long adoption process. We think you would be hard pressed to have a more documented or well tracked person come into the U.S. than an adopted child.

Marta is a child of U.S. citizens, her life and family is here. She is our daughter, and she needs to come home.

Sincerely,

Tom and Michele Gautsch
schoolmom5@comcast.net
tlgautsch@comcast.net

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T17:07:00.005-04:00

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!

Babies at Rainbow Acres

2009-05-08T13:10:00.009-04:00

"There is a time for Everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace.......

A lilac bush that I started from my Grandma's lilac bush. Smells wonderful!

Our future Egg Producers

Shhh! Don't tell Daddy, we were supposed to fix this problem! :) Aren't they cute though?

" He has made everything beautiful in its time" Ecclesiatstes 3:1-11